BPDFamily.com

Hi there I'm new here but I've been reading through the posts the last week its been a real eye opener. I never really knew about BPD until late last year. I was involved with a woman that has mental illness we've been apart for 2.5 years.

We worked together, when I first met her she told me she was on meds, she just got out of a ugly relationship she was in pretty rough shape. I got to know her we became close, she is a high functioning BPD. As I got to know her she had a path of destruction a mile long, she claimed her ex BF committed suicide which was false. She was proud of the fact she destroyed her BF before me the fact he aged and got fat.

I stood up to her I don't think she ever had a guy like that in her life she used her good looks to manipulate guys. She was proud of the fact she could manipulate people she couldn't with me I manipulated her back. I'm not a BPD but we understood each other we had a strong bond with each other. It is surprising what she told me, she knew she couldn't lie to me as I caught her she even said how did you know that I said never lie to me I will find out. We worked together she worked under me I seen what the others never seen she hid the fact that she had mental illness. Some of the stuff I did see was scary when she would lash out at me in rage her emotions would come out.

Our relationship was a roller coaster she loved drama she was always the one to start it. Things would be going too smoothly, bam out of no where she would pick a fight. There was lots of push pull, she liked me she hated me, giving me the silent treatment but she would always come back. She didn't make many friends at work they all pretty much hated her. When she did pick a fight with me I knew how to fight back she would get really mad and say she's furious at me.

Work started piling up I started putting her needs on the back burner she wanted to see another guy a co-worker in another town same corporation. This guy is very insecure and narcissistic he fell in love with her right away he craves attention he hates being ignored she showered him with all the attention. She told me she's just using him for money, she uses people all the time. He's a people pleaser he will put other's needs before his he does it at work all the time.

A year into the relationship things seem to be okay but she wasn't ever happy she always kept close to me. As the relationship progressed I could see changes in him his health was slowly declining, to current day he's aged himself 10-15 years he's extremely unhealthy looking he's in bad shape. A guy that is 34-35 years old looks like he's in his late 40s now.

She wasn't happy in the relationship she kept taking it out on me blaming me for her unhappiness I got tired of it I put my foot down and I cut her off. Lets put it this way things didn't end well she wanted to see me pay for that. She started smearing my name trying to kill my reputation long story short I had to leave my job.

After being with the guy she's for 3 years she's convinced him to let her move in with him. This guy is a few bricks short of a load he's on the verge of snapping my biggest fear is she's going to end up dead. This guy will have no qualms of pointing a gun at her head, yes she isn't a good person but she deserves to live.

We've been apart for 2.5 years I've moved on my life I've recovered from being with her she messed up my life.

Hi Gear Jammer,

*welcome*

That is some story. I'm sorry you went through that. Breakups are never easy, but dealing with those kinds of behaviors and a smear campaign to boot can wear even the strongest down. I'm glad that you have recovered from that roller coaster.

This man she is with now—the one you have concerns about—he is not the "caretaker" type she was seeing from your company?

How are things for you now professionally and personally?

Keep posting. It helps to share. You are definitely not alone.

heartandwhole

Its taken me nearly 2 years to recover, dealing with her and work both caused me stress. When I had to leave my job it was a bit of a scramble but I went back into the career I originally came from. Today I've regained my health physically and mentally I never want to repeat the past that's for damn sure.

The BPD seen me 6 months ago she's never seen me fit and healthy before I think she liked what see seen. She acted shy and nervous seeing me just like the day we first met each other. Her plans of me crashing and burning never really happened I rebounded and kept moving on with my life. Her on the other hand was in the same position when I left her, her career has stalled, nothing improved in her life.

She destroys men I can see it in her current BF he was a heathy man when he met her today he's a wreck he's gained a good 40 plus pounds. She moves in with him he's not going to be able to handle it she's going to end up dead he will fly off his nut and seriously hurt her.

I had a dream of my ex BPD last night, been a while since that has happened. There are days I do miss her I know its bad to do that we did have some good times together. I've learned a lot about BPD I know she will never change.

I found you need to stand up against a BPD she tried pushing me a lot it made her emotional she learned the word NO from me. I was the only one in our workplace that truly knew what she was like she hid her true self from ever body else.

Things that drove me nuts about her was the jealousy she would get mad if I talked to other women, I would get the glare if I talked to other women. She was jealous of my success at work she would try find ways of degrading my success. What would really get her upset if I got credit for something she did. Her and I got a long for the most part as I said we understood each other.  When we first met she was the most clingiest woman I've ever met.

I know it is bothering her that I never crashed and burned like she hoped getting revenge on me. I've always been successful that will never change. She claimed she was scared of me I'm not sure why she would say that I wouldn't lay a hand on her. She convinced the managers in the company we worked for I was abusing her she knew that was a lie.

I'm a little worried that she's going to be living with the guy she's been with for the last 3 years, I know he's physically abusive. When her and I were close I would notice bruises on her I would ask her about them she was scared to say anything.

Happy that I'm BPD free its taken a long time to recover, now that I can think straight again I'm putting the pieces of the puzzle together to get answer to what the heck happened it was all a blur 2 years go.