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This is a great thread.  I don't want to distract from the codependency discussion because it is a good one.  But since you mentioned Jung, I thought I'd recommend this book, Goddesses in Everywoman by Jean Shinoda Bolen.  I'm recommending it because I hear you're you're yearning for emotional authenticity plus something else.  Transcendence, maybe?  This sounds like a spiritual quest.

Oooh, thank you : )

I just ordered it.

And yes, it does feel more like a spiritual, artistic, life, self quest... .

Sure, there are probably element of co-dependent traits mixed up in it too, but it doesn't feel like that's what it is *about*.

So, thank youuuuu Insom : )

Oooh, I have also just ordered:

"Transforming Sexuality: The Archetypal World of Anima and Animus" by Ann Ulanov and Barry Ulanov

"... .For your most intimate and significant relationship with the opposite sex, look within yourself-to anima and animus, the archetypal symbols that define and celebrate the presence of the Feminine in men and the Masculine in women. These compelling figures express inner realities of psyche and spirit with which we all must grapple in putting together the pieces of our individual identities-whether we are married or single, sexually active or celibate, heterosexual or homosexual. They ultimately provide a bridge between the ego and the deepest Self, opening the way to profound self-knowledge and spiritual transformation. The authors use their broad backgrounds in psychology, theology, philosophy, and the arts to follow the archetypes from clinical practice into a fascinating range of cultural manifestations, particularly in the world's great literature-from Dante to Pasternak-making this book the most wide-ranging study to date of these central concepts in Jungian psychology... ."

I've also just ordered:

"Meeting the Shadow: The Hidden Power of the Dark Side of Human Nature" by Connie Zweig and Jeremiah Abrams

which looks pretty impressive and has contributions by passages from luminaries like Carl Jung, James Hillman, M.L. von Franz, John Sanford; Harville Hendrix, Marsha Sinetar, Larry Dossey, W.Brugh Joy; M.Scott Peck, Rollo May, Ernest Becker, Sam Keen, Robert Jay Lifton; Ken Wilber, Robert Bly, Joseph Campbell and John Bradshaw and others

and I am now toying with also ordering:

"Romancing the Shadow: A Guide to Soul Work for a Vital, Authentic Life" by Connie Zweig and Steven Wolf

"... .Beneath the social mask we wear every day, we have a hidden shadow side: an impulsive, wounded, sad, or isolated part that we generally try to ignore, but which can erupt in hurtful ways. As therapists Connie Zweig and Steve Wolf show in this landmark book, the shadow can actually be a source of emotional richness and vitality, and acknowledging it can be a pathway to healing and an authentic life. "Romancing the shadow"--meeting your dark side, beginning to understand its unconscious messages, and learning to use its powerful energies in productive ways--is the challenging and exciting soul work that Zweig and Wolf offer in this practical, rewarding guide.

Drawing on the timeless teachings of Carl Jung and compelling stories from their clinical practices, Zweig and Wolf reveal how the shadow guides your choices in love, sex, marriage, friendship, work, and family life. With their innovative method, you can uncover the unique patterns and purpose of your shadow and learn to defuse negative emotions; reclaim forbidden or lost feelings; achieve greater self-acceptance; heal betrayal; reimagine and re-create relationships; cultivate compassion for others; renew creative expressions; and find purpose in your suffering.

The shadow knows why good people sometimes do bad things. Romancing the shadow and learning to read the messages it encodes in daily life can deepen your consciousness, imagination, and soul... ."

Yes!  I love how art/culture and spirit are so up front with Jung.  Thanks for the additional book recommendations, icky, l am checking them out!