|
Title: seeking a support person(s) to cope with my ladyfriend with BPD Post by: doctor G on August 17, 2019, 02:15:12 PM Hi,
I got into a romantic relationship with "Ani" ( not her real name ) around 10 weeks ago. We have known each other though since near 20 years. I have seen heaven and hell during these last 10 weeks : 4 times she wanted to end our relationship - and indeed I feel like pushed into walking on eggshells which is very uncomfortable? I have lost near 20 pounds ( of my slight overweight - :) Ani is a bright women - she studies classical languages latin and Greek. She works an administration job at a major hospital. We have been friends for a long time - and I have been always having eying her as a nice interesting person - fascinating. She has a 10 year old daughter. the girl lives with her father during the week and Ani has her girl from Saturday morning until Sunday evening. Myself I work as an ER doctor, very dedicated to my patients. I have been single since 5 years after a 12 years relationship - had major difficulties with that break up and have been seeing therapists and engaged into study. Some years ago - the therapist I was seeing passed away suddenly . I called Ani - as I knew she was seeing a therapist an since we have been seeing the same psychiatrist. ( whoom accepted me even if she was not accepting new patients - as part of my needs are also to cope with the emotional weight of my work ) I hope to find some support in dealing with Ani. Thank you Title: Re: seeking a support person(s) to cope with my ladyfriend with BPD Post by: doctor G on August 18, 2019, 04:55:09 AM Hi, I got into a romantic relationship with "Ani" ( not her real name ) around 10 weeks ago. We have known each other though since near 20 years. I have seen heaven and hell during these last 10 weeks : 4 times she wanted to end our relationship - and indeed I feel like pushed into walking on eggshells which is very uncomfortable? I have lost near 20 pounds ( of my slight overweight - :) Ani is a bright women - she studies classical languages latin and Greek. She works an administration job at a major hospital. We have been friends for a long time - and I have been always having eying her as a nice interesting person - fascinating. She has a 10 year old daughter. the girl lives with her father during the week and Ani has her girl from Saturday morning until Sunday evening. Myself I m a healthcare worker. I have been single since 5 years after a 12 years relationship - had major difficulties with that break up and have been seeing therapists and engaged into study. Some years ago - the therapist I was seeing passed away suddenly . I called Ani - as I knew she was seeing a therapist an since we have been seeing the same psychiatrist. ( whoom accepted me even if she was not accepting new patients - as part of my needs are also to cope with the emotional weight of my work ) I hope to find some support in dealing with Ani. Thank you Title: Re: seeking a support person(s) to cope with my ladyfriend with BPD Post by: No-One on August 18, 2019, 11:08:30 PM Hi Doctor G: Welcome!
I'm sorry about all the pushing/pulling you have been enduring. Quote from: Doctor G I got into a romantic relationship with "Ani" ( not her real name ) around 10 weeks ago. We have known each other though since near 20 years. I have seen heaven and hell during these last 10 weeks : 4 times she wanted to end our relationship - and indeed I feel like pushed into walking on eggshells Other than the push/pull behavior, what other BPD traits is she exhibiting?Quote from: Doctor G We have been seeing the same psychiatrist. Are you able to talk about "Ani" during your personal sessions with your psychiatrist? If so, has your psychiatrist given you any advice about 'Ani"?Does "Ani" see the psychiatrist for meds and therapy? Has she had any DBT type therapy or training? Quote from: Doctor G Part of my needs are also to cope with the emotional weight of my work As an ER doctor, you experience a lot of chaos. Is it possible that you are addicted to chaos? Perhaps, it seems natural to you to have chaos in a relationship as well.Just wondering if this is the right romantic relationship for you? Sounds like something to discuss with your psychiatrist. I understand how the "pull" part of the cycle makes you feel wonderful, but is it worth it, when the "push" part of the cycle bites you in the rear? |