BPDFamily.com

Hi,
I was in 9 month intense relationship in which we pretty much lived together (6 out of 7 nights a week) And she worked for me for 6 months before she broke up with me End of January 2020.

She has a lot of BDP traits and some narcissistic tendency. She is more covert with her RAGE and passive aggressive.

My questions is , Is she still interested and does she want me to chase her or is she just playing games ?

She logs into an Instagram account owned by my Company and she is the only once who has access besides me and checks my I.G Stories and account 3-5 x a Day. She sent me an indirect email about her Mobile account about a month ago , She was super professional and formal but She didn't really need my help with it b, I took a few weeks to reply after she followed up again. She didn't respond to my reply and I have sent 2 x Drunk mistake SMS and no reply just XOXO and another short one that didn't  make sense (So I messed up here). It was 4 months of NC to this point. She also hasn't changed her Linkedin from my company and regularly logins and likes my best friends post. She also got her sister tom post her wearing the bracelet I gave her from Tiffany and CO.

Why I believe she has BPD

- Cutting
- Cant keep a Job , Quit Uni after 12 months , always late to things
- Big drinker and smoker (When with me she was not drinking as much and become a lot healthier)
- Passive aggressives
- Story teller (Lies)
- Lacks Empathy
- Interpersonal problems (Attention seeking behavior)
- Cheated on her ex to be with me

We broke because i constantly caught her texting her ex who was always loitering and trying to message her. And she never posted anything of us on IG or social. We went on 5 holidays in 9 months (Philippines , Bali, Byron Bay , Thredbo , Airlie beach and Mudgee) and the last few days in bali we where arguing about the social stuff and not telling her ex she has moved on. So we spent the day apart in bali in which I unfollowed her on all socials and agreed to meet before we went to the airport. But then I logged onto my Business IG account to update and noticed she put a heap of stories up with random people , She didn't post anything with me the entire time and she knew it was an issues as she was still hiding me from her ex 9 months on so I left to the airport without her and told her to find her way there herself and moved my seat.

She then messaged me on our return to come pick up her things and left me a letter saying she ism sorry and hopes we can just spend 2 weeks apart and see of we can fix things when she returns to work for me. She cam back 2 weeks later and back to work and then that afternoon impulsively breaks up with me.

Since then she has kinda attacked me on socials and been very distant and detached. but lately she has been stalking me a lot more and active towards me with the indirect email and watching all of MY IG stories from my work account. Yes I should change password but I have never been ready to let go.

Can someone please advise me ... If there is a chance to reconnect and how to have a healthier relationship with her... Or is it just games and I have no chance ?

hi Stew007,

can you clarify for us...


do i have it right that the two of you hadnt spoken for 4 months until she sent the email, you took a few weeks, youve followed up twice?

She emailed me and followed me up twice , I responded and she hasn't responded. I sent two text messages while I was out under the influence one didn't make sense and the other was just XOXOX... No reply

She logs into another IG account daily which is my companies (I own a company) and she worked for me, hence she has access... The only one besides me ... She logs in daily at least 3-5 x and checks up on me and views my stories and then she also likes post from chicks she thinks are POI for me that are in reality not from this account. Yes I should change the password ... But I still love her and it makes me think there is a chance. She knows that I know she is watching my stories from the work account.

She also hasn't updated her linkedin it still has her working for my company and she logs in and like my best mates LinkedIn Post all the time...

We broke up as I couldn't handle her always responded to her ex and she wouldn't show us on any social platform ,... The relationship only lasted 10 months and there is an age gap between us.

I want to see if there is a chance to reconnect and how do I do this and ensure we have a more stable relationship in the future ? She is a passive BPD and has some narcissistic traits also very competitive and I think she is angry at me as she had a really good lifestyle with me.

She hasn't really worked since our breakup and is living back in her country town. I know she is still talking to the other ex but she isn't with him as she is 2.5 hours drive away and has been there since our break up. In our 10 months together we travelled a lot and spent 90% of our time together.

She broke up with me in the end , As we went to Bali and had a big fight on the last day and we made our own ways separately to the airport ... I tried to save it but we broke up officially 2 weeks later after we spent time apart and she went back to the farm.

We did catch up for a date 30 days later and I didn't try to win her back but she was shut off and negative towards me. saying she couldn't be herself ... and that she is moving back to the country etc ... She was also trying to make me jealous and its the first date she turned up early and on time for... We had a couple of drinks and then parted.

She then hacked my work email , bloke some email addresses of female clients , she had access to my Spotify and kept on changing y music why I was listening to it to break up songs. and then she started a new IG account and put a gift that I gave her (SURF BOARD) as post and said sliding in to your mans DMs. She has got her sister to post recently wearing a Tiffany and Co bracelet I gave her she took off post break up looked very staged ...

is she just bitter and angry at me ... or Is she still attached and wants me to chase ?

Again she is very passive aggressive , Covert type of narcissism ... What do I do to get her to stop hating me and reverse this break up?

Sorry for the long post I haven't chased once ... All her other exes would have

my ex was also getting into my email, the one that was attached to my facebook, and reading messages i was receiving.

the first thing i would say is dont take this as a basis for reconciliation. dont take it for anything other than what it is: an ex invading your privacy.

if there is any risk there, especially if its work related, yes, i would change my password immediately.


this is really the key question.

in finding the answer, youve got to figure out what it was, what the fundamental problem(s) was that broke you up in the first place.


an ex in the picture can a challenge. an age gap can be, too.


why did she say she was breaking up with you? what was the fight about?

these things are part of the picture of why you broke up...an important part, no doubt. whats the rest?