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I know you feel bad. Try not to take it personally. It's certainly just tactics from her. That's what they do.

I know it feels like you never existed to her, like she just wants to cut you off completely from her life. I also felt bad when my ex blocked me everywhere. It still feels like I was never important to him.

I also felt really bad today, I look forward my ex contacting me, and get depressed when I don't hear anything from him. I cry so much, my heart has never hurted this much. Can someone make it stop.

Try to survive from this. You are strong.

At least I think so. They do whatever they do when they have splitted you black. I think this month will be difficult for you too, waiting for her to contact you :/ I know what it's like. This uncertainty and waiting is so torturous!

She could come in contact even when the schools have started.

My boyfriend has come back in a couple of days before (he has left me twice before this), but now it’s been over 2 months. But I know he also has depression and other problems right now.

The last time I saw my boyfriend, he was so in love and said that he has the best girlfriend ever and said he did not want to lose me. A week later, however, he left me... And said he didn't love me anymore, even though the night before he said he loved me...

I’ve said this before I think that it’s a good sign. If she had no feelings for you she’s would leave the pictures up because it wouldn’t bother her. This telegraphs that she’s has feelings for you - you’re in good shape.

She could be angry at you by taking the pictures down or it could mean that it’s hard for her to look at pictures of you because it’s a constant reminder of the r/s that you had.

She could have someone else but don’t think the worst case scenario.

What is your goal with NC ( no contact )

Why are you doing it?

Breaking up is really hard and it’s more so when you’re not sure why you broke up. I’ll give you an an example sometimes your SO will blame you or look for reasons to break up and they blame you but they don’t tell you the underlining issues in the r/s. It’s hard to face someone else head on with issues that they have about the r/s and you.

Think of it this way I’m not saying that you’re needy I’m using this as an example to prove a point but can you imagine your ex coming up to you and saying that she thinks that you’re too needy ( just an example ) and you say what do you mean I’m needy? Can you imagine how hard that that would that would be to deal with?

This time out is a good time to reflect and do the self work. Can you think of a reason why she broke up with you?

From your sharing here about your dad and I’m just using what you have shared here and in it’s context, maybe she felt like you didn’t defend her? What are some things that you thing that could be reasons why she left?

Hey Richard!

I can relate to having them act cold towards you and stone walling. It is hard for sure!

Mine on the other hand is very cold, ignores me if she sees me, gets angry if I reach out, but still has older pictures and her and I, my son and I, and just me in her Facebook albums.

Last February she unblocked me on her Facebook after having me blocked for a year and a half. That was after I told her I was going no contact. She did a 180 and apologized and I found out she had unblocked. She 180'd back days later but left me unblock. When I changed the status of some of my pictures of her and I to public anticipating her sending me a friend request, a few days later I seen she had either added or changed the viewing status of some more pictures. A couple of her and her kids and a couple of me and my son at our faith's new Temple on a trip we took to see it. All those pictures are still on there and I'm still unblocked.

Last weekend after 2 months of staying away from her and not seeing her at all I ran into her at a car show and she made it a point to walk past me a few times flaunting the new guy. It's all very confusing!

Like Mutt said though, she likely either deleted them or changed the viewing status on them because she is upset or feels guilty (or both.) She may have done this knowing that you would be looking to 'punish' you in a sense. Things I have read and learned is that they tend to do things like that to punish the other person.

Hang in there! Just keep working on you and your happiness! That's what I've had to do myself. It is hard but treat yourself to things you like and take care of you!

Breaking up is really hard and it’s more so when you’re not sure why you broke up. I’ll give you an an example sometimes your SO will blame you or look for reasons to break up and they blame you but they don’t tell you the underlining issues in the r/s. It’s hard to face someone else head on with issues that they have about the r/s and you.

Think of it this way I’m not saying that you’re needy I’m using this as an example to prove a point but can you imagine your ex coming up to you and saying that she thinks that you’re too needy ( just an example ) and you say what do you mean I’m needy? Can you imagine how hard that that would that would be to deal with?

This time out is a good time to reflect and do the self work. Can you think of a reason why she broke up with you?

From your sharing here about your dad and I’m just using what you have shared here and in it’s context, maybe she felt like you didn’t defend her? What are some things that you thing that could be reasons why she left?

I don’t think you did wrong by not chasing her. If she didn’t give you a reason why and you didn’t see this coming and if you chased her then that tells her that you have a tolerance for being treated this way. This way you’re showing that you’re not putting up with it. If she breaks up with you again then she knows what to expect from you which will make her think carefully about breaking up with you the next time.

Also if per chance that there is someone else and you’re chasing that tells her that you’re interested and available to her while she’s with someone else and if that r/s doesn’t work out or theres conflict that she’s running from then she knows that you’re available. If you want a romantic r/s with her you don’t want that either.

Stay centered which is what you’re doing if you’re not contacting her and her taking down the photos shows that you’re holding you’re end of the deal.

She’s also displaying emotions which is also good.

Take this time to figure out what you need to work on yourself and distract yourself with hobbies, working out, spending time with family and friends and above all take really good care of yourself by getting sleep, eating and exercise.

Keep talking about your anxiety here. It helps to talk about it. Sadhguru says that you can think of a thousand different things that can go wrong and how many things actually do go wrong in any given thing. Things will go wrong maybe once or twice.

I think that you have a chance that she’ll come back. I believe that and the reason why that I say that is because you’re not giving her a negative impression of you. Think of it this way if she wasn’t happy and was angry with you she’s going to have those negative feelings about you and if you tried to beg she’s only going to recall the current feelings that she has about you. You have to give it to time for those negative feelings to dissipate and you’re helping that happen by given her space and not helping her invoke negative feelings by begging and pleading with her.

She’s going to miss you and the good feelings about you will come back and will replace those negative feelings that she currently has and your chances of getting back to her based on those positive feelings and the time behind both of you will increase.

If you run into her at school there’s nothing wrong with being cordial and nice to her and watch Sadhgurus advice on fear and anxiety.

Troubled by Fear? Just Change Your Channel! - Sadhguru
 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K7hYf0yIK5w&feature=share)

I'm very emotional and that doesn't help me, the anxiety towards her is due to the uncertainty that has arisen

It’s natural to feel angry because you’re hurt. You obviously care a lot about her because you’re here trying to figure out what to do and how to get back etc but it hurts when you’re treated like you were because she didn’t take into account how it would affect you.

There’s a saying hurt people hurt people. It helps to see it from the other persons perspective then you realize that often it’s not about you it’s about a hurt that they experienced in the past that they have not learned to deal with and they subconsciously play it out in the present through you. What happened in the past is not relevant with what you’re experiencing now in the present and some people are not aware of that they have little to no self awareness. I’m not trying to excuse her behavior- it helps to try to understand why someone behaves the way that they do and separate yourself from their emotional baggage. That will help lessen the pain that you’re experiencing when you depersonalize the behaviors - it’s not personal to you.  

I understand. It takes a long time to work towards a goal of feeling more centered when things are turbulent in a r/s.

I’m glad that you like Sadhguru I like him a lot.

She told me she always left her exes, and apparently, based on the facts, she never came back.

If she is a pwBPD she’s going to have low self worth, low self esteem and insecurities. If she admits that exes broke up with her than that would be an admission that she has faults. As you probably already know a pwBPD have binary thinking and project all of their bad feelings and bad parts real or imagined on others.

It’s possible that she has but I wouldn’t take it at face value because there could very be exes that broke up with her and a pwBPD have a fragile ego and mechanisms that protect that ego would alter reality - she’ll think that she broke up with her exes because that would signify that there’s nothing wrong with her in her mind.

She still has negative feelings for you and doesn’t have the same negative feelings for her ex the more time that passes the more those negative feelings go away if you don’t initiate situations that would flame these negative feelings. If you flame these negative feelings your chances are lower and you’re going to have to work harder.

When positive feelings about you surface again and she starts to miss you and she’s no longer thinking negatively about you the higher your chances of getting back together.

So you sent her a message after your breakup and she still replied that she has no feelings? I don’t think chasing would have been helpful then.

It seems to me that my boyfriend has just gone further away from me when I have sent him messages if he wanted to be alone and he got anxious about them and those negative feelings about me have remained.

I've heard that some people with BPD change after a breakup, or they are no longer recognized as the same person. I don't know exactly why?

I know what you mean by that anxiety. I, too, am a really emotional person and these last two months have been quite a nightmare.

During my relationship, I felt like my boyfriend had two different personalities. The one was very caring and loving, and the other was like some demon straight from hell. Now it feels as if the latter has taken complete power from him. It feels like I’m some random person to him. But it’s relief when you know it’s a mental disorder and these just belong in it. It can indeed be some defense mechanism, mirroring, projection or something like that, I don't know. I've read that after breakup, their masks seem to fall off. As if they had presented in relationship to something other than what they really are.

The sad truth is that we cannot influence their thoughts and feelings. We can only influence what we ourselves think about things. I know it's hard, it's still hard for me too...

And I mean by now, until those positive feelings about us come back.

Nor am I an expert on this subject, but I have read a lot about this topic, discussions, the experiences of others. It makes it a lot easier to know you are not alone with the matter and you know what it's about. Otherwise, I would not have survived this situation if I had not read any of this. I wouldn't be at all sane. I guess I would have lost it. Have you gathered a lot of information on the subject? It's totally worth it.

When that other one splits you black, she loses her feelings for you. But over time, those feelings should come back.

I don't know if it matters much, but those positive feelings came back without seeing me. He came back saying he was afraid of losing me (although the irony is that he himself left me). It may indeed be that they are subconsciously testing you.

I also realized that BPD people are not usually alone for long periods. It may be that you were that favorite person for them and they start to miss your attention or something. They need someone to meet their needs.

Yeah, I agree. It's all about the moment and the way they feel so they can come back as if nothing had happened. You just have to give it time for those negative emotions to go away. Same goes for me. I am not a patient at all, I am not a person who enjoys insecurity and situations like this in general. But this is how this disorder just works...

Yeah indeed, if she had no feelings for you, she wouldn’t have deleted those pictures or anything. It is also true that BPD people tend not to think about their ex-partner and try to eliminate anything that reminds them of them. So only later can they realize what they have done.

Let's hope that those negative feelings would gradually go away over the course of a month. If you want a relationship with a BPD person, you need to continue to prepare for these, because they may suddenly just break up with you impulsively... It must also be understood that it is not personal. :/

I have decided that I will give my ex one more chance, on the condition that he is seeking help. Otherwise I can't take this anymore.

Very likely she didn’t mean them. My boyfriend also said those same things. It just belongs to this disorder that they want to push their loved ones away... :/ It sucks... When the relationship has been good, but suddenly this happens and you will be left wondering what happened and what went wrong... But at some point, they’ll pull you back...

I have had a very bad day today. Two months feels like a really long time...

But I don’t think the indirect message would be that bad? I mean those songs via social media. But about a direct message, I’m not sure if that’s a good idea.

Especially over the past week I have wanted to send a message to my ex. But then I started to think about whether it's really a good idea. I'm afraid the answer. I'm afraid if there will be an answer at all. It would hurt quite a bit if he ignored me more or would reply something very rude. Think carefully about whether you are really ready yet if you have to be rejected again. To be hurt again.

I myself have been thinking about my memories with my ex, and it hurts like hell just as he certainly do not think the same way. Their brains work differently...

When that other one splits you black, she loses her feelings for you. But over time, those feelings should come back.

I also hate situations like this, inside my head I imagine her completely ignoring me in class and this hurts me a lot.

Think carefully about whether you are really ready yet if you have to be rejected again. To be hurt again.

A pwBPD split people that they care most about.

The video from Sadghuru speaks to this. He uses the analogy in the video that you are producing horror movies and that they don't make money for the producer and that they're boring so produce something else like a thriller or comedy. To his other point - out mind can think of a thousand things that can go wrong and how many of these thoughts actually come to fruition. None of them do. As you pointed out and I'm like you I can think worst case scenario in a lot of different things but there's certain strategies that I've learned to catch myself in real time and one of those strategies is following Sadghuru's advice. When the person in the audience asked him how he should deal with fear and his response was are you in fear right now? Are we always in a fearful state? No, just be like that.

I understand that we fear that we're going to lose someone that we care about a lot that it makes it heard to think about anything else. That's why we have others here that help each other with our thoughts, that's why I'm here helping you because I've been there I still go through spotty moments with my current gf, these situations never end and I don't mean the frequency, just that we can't expect good situations with people that we're in r/s all of the time there will be some challenging situations it's how we handle it. The situations that you are thinking about is imagination, they're scenarios that you're playing out that are not based in reality and what are the chances that these scenarios will in fact happen?

What helps is to understand why she would ignore you. Some say that BPD is a shame based disorder. So if she ended the r/s with you like she did with all of the others from her accounts and she sees you and ignores you that could validate the fact to her that she cannot sustain an interpersonal r/s with someone and it would peculate feelings of shame because it would signify that she can't maintain a healthy r/s with someone. We have to seperate ourselves and our self worth from a dialog that is different than ours, there's a completely different dialog that's going on internally with her that is separate than your own. My head is convinced that she is lost forever and it makes me very angry, this is my current state of mind. The idea of seeing her again sends me into a panic, because I'm still in love and I don't know how I'm going to react.

That’s a good point.