BPDFamily.com

Hello everyone. I was here in 2010 and wow so much has changed. Glad that this site continues.
What seems a lifetime away I went from one BPD relationship to another to this site, then another BPD relationship and another. Somehow, I am okay and in a 6 year relationship.
Most of what I learned here was about learning about myself and how to improve myself.
Stay focused on yourself and your well being. Take care and it will be alright.
BTW, I am highly empathic, a pleaser and giving by nature and let too many people take advantage of me in the past and it is a daily focus to maintain a balanced relationship and friendships. Take care

 :hi:, I am so glad you posted! I came to this site in 2017, the day my ex was moving out. I was so distraught, and it took another year to go full n/c. I could not truly accept he had a disease. I kept thinking I, or he could and would go back to the person I fell in love with.
  Long story short, I have been 3 yrs n/c, and I am much better off in everyway possible. Odd thing is... I still can't let go of the experience, now I keep thinking about all the time I wasted, and wondering why it took me so long to process the relationship.
  I had to get totally honest with myself, I married him when he has already discarded me emotionally. I have really done amazing work( therapy) and went back to school to finish my degree. I am glad to hear you have been blessed to find a healthy relationship.
  This was such a traumatic experience, I fear I will never even date again. How did you get past the final hump, and put yourself in a vulnerable position, and open up? I also went from dysfunctional relationship to another. I have done a complete turn around and have not talked to one male in a romantic way. I keep fearing this horrible experience will be the last thing I have to remember about love. Sorry to make this post about me, I just needed to talk to someone who has been away for years. You give me hope! :hug:   

Hi FuzzyBunny, and thanks for posting after a long hiatus.  I think you brought up some really good points about how a person is likely to keep finding themselves in the same situation until some changes are made, more potential BPD relationships--ick.  Glad to hear you broke the cycle, what, 6 years ago now?

I think your description of yourself fits many of the people here and why we get stuck in those toxic r/s and how our partners wBPD take advantage of that.

 
Hi Confused. 15 months out, I'm feeling like you are.  Although I can't stand being alone, the thought of getting into another BPD r/s has me so scared I'd rather face the loneliness than jump into a bowl of toxic soup to get pulled down into its vortex of doom!  So you give me hope I can make it (twice as long?).  You know, it may work out for us after all :).  It did for FuzzyBunny, although another 4 years of crud isn't very appealing.  We may need to take a leap of faith.

What you wrote almost exactly 4 years ago is spot on, Confused4now.  I think some people who are on the board today and looking for closure can benefit from your words (especially the last paragraph).  Cant Breathe, Deep Blue...check it out.

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=316815.msg12913133#msg12913133