Often we pick up "flees" from those around us. Meaning we all may have traits from our BPD, but that doesn't make us BPD. Also BPD has overlap symptoms with PTSD or bi-polar or ADHD. To complicate it still further, its not unusual for someone with BPD to be co-morbit with other attributes (such as PTSD). I also know once I realised the BPD, I started to see BPD traits in loads of people (who didn't have it).
You are really looking for someone with the full set of BPD symptoms, rather than just one or two. So for example a limited empathy can be present in BPD, bi-polar and ADHD. But if you are willing to accept you may have BPD and that is not a good thing and you have done this on your own volition, then that is not typical BPD behaviour.
Does any of this help ? Would you like to explore this further ?