How common are personality disorders?

[MaybeSo]

Many people in our culture today likely have borderline or narcisstic traits to a degree that is less than optimal, and moreso than in past history, from what I can see, our current culture is pretty borderline eg., we are emotionally immature especially as it pertains to ideas about intimate relating.

We live in an instant gratification culture: We are weaned to expect instant and sustained happiness  we put the kids in daycare asap so we can work and be fulfilled and have more stuff,  we feel entitled to great big houses, great big lives, porn star sex, we want to live the life of a 20 year old in our 40's and 50's and this culture spends huge amounts of money on fantasy based pursuits including pornorgraphy, hollywood movies and plastic surgery...   our idols are caricatures on drama saturated reality TV shows and hollywood movie stars with revolving drama-based relationships...   we don't connect eye to eye or really even converse anymore, we text or sext or hook-up online like finding a partner and relating is as simple as putting a nickle into the never ending gum-ball machine...   the list goes on and on.

Both men and women (US) are raised and marinated in this culture of instant gratification; many of us probably do not in FACT meet the clincial criteria for 5 out of 9 symptoms (DSM IV) of a Borderline Personality Disorder, probably many of those we dated and talked about here don't either...   but please don't be fooled that if you DON'T have a clincial personality disorder that you actually have excellent and flexible adult emotional skills, good boundaries, are able to defer gratification and have grown up, reasonable and healthy expectations about what an intimate relationship provides long-term.  You can fall way far away from an actual clinical personality disorder and STILL be a difficult relating partner long term (traits) and we are all hooking up and dating eachother folks, all of us with our 'traits'...   we don't need to look any further than in the mirror to see dysfunction...   especially in today's culture which doens't even PROMOTE healthy adult relating in any meangingful way in mainstream culture...   why bother when you can become rich AND get your "needs" met instantly with online porn and all the little girls growing up are trying so hard to meet that fantasy standard?  That is not a healthy society for men or women.

We are part of a pretty unhealthy time in our culture overall...   in my opinion, WE are currently living in a borderline culture.  

[seeking balance]

According to "I Hate You, Don't Leave Me" (written in the 80's mind you)...  

"For many, American culture has lost contact with the past and remains unconnected to the future. Our flooding of technical advancement and information requires greater individual commitment to solitary study and practice, thus sacrificing opportunities for socialization. Increasing divorce rates, expanding use of day care, and greater mobility have all contributed to a society that lacks constancy and reliability. Personal, intimate relationships become difficult or even impossible to achieve, and deep-seated loneliness, self-absorption, emptiness, anxiety, depression, and loss of self-esteem ensue." - Page 63

We are a borderline culture in meeting some but not all of the criteria...   not enough for actual diagnosis.

[Mountaineagle]

In regards of the discussion about modern american culture being more prone to BPD, I would like to add a little of my recent discoveries. I have learned that many of the relationships in my family had some dysfunction going as far back as great grandfather generation, further knowledge is not available. In my culture we have strong connection to the past, so the stories are around. From what I can gather I think BPD problems have existed for a loooong time. But time and history has a tendency to just keep the "good" parts. Just feel the tendency in your own self when looking at your relationship and wanting back . I have to make an effort to remember the bad stuff that happened and still it gets  hidden away in my head, can't remember much of the raging fights I had with my ex. As you all know, there are not many people who can relate unless they have been in a BPD or other pd relationship, and also the shame connected to this kind of situation in the past where it was maybe more important to keep the mask, does insure that these kind of stories does not stay around for a long time. When I am done with this I will not speak about this unless I encounter some friend that needs help, and be able to validate him or her. I don't think BPD is limited to culture or modern times. It is just that the past seems so much better because we as people only remember the good bits. 

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[MaybeSo]

Mountaineagle,

You make a good point and I do not think our current culture with it's emphasis on adolescence  is the only time in history where a borderline or unhealthy way of thinking was emphasized...   personality disorders are assumed to have been around for as long as groups of people have been around, some researchers certainly speculate about  times in history that represent particularly unhealthy group psychology or self destructive group think...   Alexander the Great, the Roman Empire, and Nazi Germany are just a few obvious  examples that come to mind.

[Maryiscontrary]

I see attachment disorganized relational styles everywhere. In the US, there is a collapse of accessibility to job security, food security, housing security, safety security. And since the family is smaller and more scattered, everything above is exasterbated. Hispanic and Asian populations often have more solid family structures, and this may explain the lesser incidence of BPD in these groups.