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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: empath on August 24, 2018, 12:15:17 PM



Title: He feels better, so he wants to move back...Update
Post by: empath on August 24, 2018, 12:15:17 PM
Update: About 10 days ago, my mom passed away unexpectedly, and I had to break the silence with my h to tell him the news. I left shortly afterward and have been out of town since. H did come to the funeral and stayed in a hotel; I'm staying with family.


Title: Re: He feels better, so he wants to move back...
Post by: SerendipityChild on August 24, 2018, 04:28:50 PM
Update: About 10 days ago, my mom passed away unexpectedly, and I had to break the silence with my h to tell him the news. I left shortly afterward and have been out of town since. H did come to the funeral and stayed in a hotel; I'm staying with family.
My condolences Empath... really sorry to hear about your mom. How are you feeling? 


Title: Re: He feels better, so he wants to move back...
Post by: Radcliff on August 24, 2018, 05:01:16 PM
Update: About 10 days ago, my mom passed away unexpectedly, and I had to break the silence with my h to tell him the news. I left shortly afterward and have been out of town since. H did come to the funeral and stayed in a hotel; I'm staying with family.

I am so sorry to hear about your mom!  Mine died earlier this summer as well, so the pain is recent and familiar.  I'm sorry it was sudden and you didn't have any time to prepare -- that can be so difficult.      

WW


Title: Re: He feels better, so he wants to move back...
Post by: SerendipityChild on August 24, 2018, 05:04:40 PM
I am so sorry to hear about your mom!  Mine died earlier this summer as well, so the pain is recent and familiar.  I'm sorry it was sudden and you didn't have any time to prepare -- that can be so difficult.      
WW
Wentworth... so sorry to hear about your mom as well=( my condolences.  


Title: Re: He feels better, so he wants to move back...
Post by: empath on August 25, 2018, 12:51:37 PM
WW, I'm sorry for your loss as well.   

Thank you SerendipityChild for your condolences. It's been a tough couple of weeks; some of that is because I pushed back against people who were telling me what I should do. It was good because I was able to talk with my sister about what has really been going on in our lives over the past few years.

I came here knowing that I didn't have a lot of emotional bandwidth to deal with people who were needy or controlling. My sister's way to deal with stress is to try to control what she can, and once she realized what she was doing and we talked about it, she changed what she was doing. Her mother-in-law, however, is still not happy with me and has said some really hurtful things; she's being passive aggressive but just barely. Family... .

The grief comes in waves; mostly right now, I'm more shocked than anything else. I'm also thankful that she was able to have this summer with our visit and her trip to see family and attend a family graduation. Good memories.


Title: Re: He feels better, so he wants to move back...
Post by: Mustbeabetterway on August 25, 2018, 01:10:16 PM
Hi empath,

Sorry for your loss.    I lost my dad 23 years ago and still miss him.  I know it's tough.  I am glad you have good memories.  That's priceless.

When the going gets tough, the tough tippy toe.   . Be good to yourself.

Take care,

Mustbeabetterway


Title: Re: He feels better, so he wants to move back...
Post by: SerendipityChild on August 25, 2018, 03:18:44 PM
WW, I'm sorry for your loss as well.   

Thank you SerendipityChild for your condolences. It's been a tough couple of weeks; some of that is because I pushed back against people who were telling me what I should do. It was good because I was able to talk with my sister about what has really been going on in our lives over the past few years.

I came here knowing that I didn't have a lot of emotional bandwidth to deal with people who were needy or controlling. My sister's way to deal with stress is to try to control what she can, and once she realized what she was doing and we talked about it, she changed what she was doing. Her mother-in-law, however, is still not happy with me and has said some really hurtful things; she's being passive aggressive but just barely. Family... .

The grief comes in waves; mostly right now, I'm more shocked than anything else. I'm also thankful that she was able to have this summer with our visit and her trip to see family and attend a family graduation. Good memories.
I am glad you have support from family. Like you I’ve pushed away family and friends when I was with my ex. Mostly because I didn’t want to hear the ugly truth. That he wasn’t good for me. But I stuck with him through the push/pull and alienated myself from everyone. I just started rebuilding my relationship with my sisters and parents. And it feels good to know they’re there for me no matter what.
I hope you’re dealing with the grief well and wishing you better days to come.


Title: Re: He feels better, so he wants to move back...Update
Post by: Radcliff on August 25, 2018, 11:42:33 PM
I'm glad you were able to get some good summer memories with your mom.  We were able to do that last summer and over the winter holidays.   It helps to feel like we were able to make the time matter and to have the memories.

WW