What do all these abbreviations and terms mean?

[Willow]

What do all these abbreviations and terms mean?

W

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[Skip]

[ragged robin]

I am new to understanding BPD.  I keep seeing "fleas".  What does this mean?

[Skippy]

Those that lie down with dogs, get up with fleas. - Blackfoot Indian Proverb (from a time when dog sleds were used - before horses)

He that lies down with dogs, shall rise up with fleas. – Benjamin Franklyn

Those who sleep with dogs will rise with fleas. . – Italian Proverb

----------------------

People learn by imitating others (modeling), by perceiving and interpreting what they see happening to others and by the cumulative experience of trial and error.

When we associate with anyone for an extended basis, we inevitably adopt some of their skills, views, traits, idiosyncrasies, failings. Sharing of each other’s personality is also a sign of good rapport and the ability to connect with someone.

When we live with someone who has a mental illness, we very well may adopt some of the attitudes and behaviors. We may also distance ourselves from certain attitudes and behaviors. An important point is that we adopted these behaviors – they weren't forced us. They are learned traits.  They can be unlearned.

This is also different from exposing a pre-existing condition that we have – sometimes a relationship make us aware of problem we had all along – just didn’t realize it.

This is also different from being “damaged” in a relationship.  If our partner abused us, for example, and we developed PTSD – that is not a “flea” – that’s an injury.

This is why a self inventory is so important… they pathway to recovery is not always the same.

[daughter1124]

FOG?

[csandra]

FOG :  fear, obligation, guilt

[BPDFamily]

Alanon
A Twelve Step program of recovery for those affected by another's drinking

Boundaries
Are when you put your values into action and clarify what is and what is not acceptable to you and act accordingly to defend these values.

Boundaries Tools of Respect
BOUNDARIES: Upholding our values and independence
BOUNDARIES: Case studies

CODA
Codependents Annonymous - A 12 step program for recovery from co-dependency patterns with ourselves and in our relationships

Codependency
Involves putting others needs before your own, excessive people pleasing, poor boundaries, martydom, and control issues.
Are we co-dependent?
Dealing with Enmeshment and Codependence
Co-dependency: When Our Emotional Issues Affect Our True Availability

DBT
Dialectical Bheaviour Therapy
The basic principles behind Dialectical Behavioral Therapy
Treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder [New]

DEARMAN
is a communication tool
Describe
Express
Assert
Reinforce
Mindfully
Appear
Negotiate
DEARMAN Technique
Communication tools (SET, PUVAS, DEARMAN)

DSM
Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders
What are the new DSM-5.0 criteria for BPD?
Dissociation
The capability or process of separating thoughts, emotions, affects, or experiences from one another either purposely or involuntarily.
BPD BEHAVIORS:Dissociation and Dysphoria

DV
Domestic Violence
Workshop - US: Physically abusive relationships: Are you in one?
TOOLS: Domestic Violence Against Women
TOOLS: Domestic Violence Against Men
Emotional caretaker
According to Kraft Goin MD (University of Southern California), "borderlines need a person who is a constant, continuing, empathic force in their lives; someone who can listen and handle being the target of intense rage and idealization while concurrently defining limits and boundaries with firmness and candor".  To be in this type of relationship, you must accept the role as emotional caretaker - consistently staying above it.  
The Do's and Don't in a BPD Relationship
Enable
Is doing things for someone else that they can and should be doing for themselves.
Are you Supporting or Enabling?
Extinction Burst
The phenomenon of behaviour temporarily getting worse, not better when the reinforcement stops.
Extinction Bursts

FOG
Fear Obligation Guilt
Workshop - US: What it means to be in the “FOG”
Foo

Family Of Origin
Other abbreviations found here
Intermittent reinforcement
Is a reward that only pays off once in a while. B.F. Skinner demonstrated that something that pays off every time does not have as strong an influence as something that only pays off now and then. This explains why we keep trying to win "idealization" from our pwBPD even when confronted with repeated abusive defeats.  During the highs and lows that are often described on this board as the "roller coaster" - the high is, in affect, the intermittent reward.
Why we stay - intermittent rewards and Stockholm Syndrome
Why we stay:Traumatic Bonding,Intermittent Reinforcement,Stockholm Syndrome

JADE
To JADE is to
Justify
Argue
Defend
Explain
Karpman triangle
The Karpman Triangle, described by Stephen Karpman is a very useful tool for understanding "stuck" relationship dynamics. The roles are Persecutor, Victim, and Rescuer. We may start in one position, but as another (or others) shift around the triangle, so do we.
Karpmen Triangle

LC
Limited Contact
Mindfulness
Mindfulness is “allowing” experiences rather than suppressing or avoiding them. It is the intentional process of observing, describing, and participating in reality non-judgmentally, in the moment, and with effectiveness
TOOLS: Triggering, Mindfulness, and the Wise Mind
TOOLS: DBT for Non Borderlines- Mindfulness
Practicing mindfulness--how do you do it?
NC
No Contact
Non
The person in relationship with a pwBPD
Painting black (see Splitting)
Personal values
Beliefs, values, and philosophies that we hold about life, its purpose, and our own purpose.
Projection
Projection is a defense mechanism, operating unconsciously, in which what is emotionally unacceptable in the self is unconsciously rejected and attributed (projected) to others.  Projection is denying one's own unpleasant traits, behaviors, or feelings by attributing them, often in an accusing way,  to someone else.
BPD BEHAVIORS: Projection

Push/Pull
The relationship dance where we push away or pull towards each other.
PERSPECTIVES: From Idealization to Devaluation: Why we struggle

pwBPD
Person With Borderline Personality Disorder
Radical acceptance
Radical acceptance was developed by Marsha Linehan, PhD.  from the University of Washington (see article) and is based on the ancient Zen philosophy that each moment is complete by itself, and that the world is perfect as it is. Zen focuses on acceptance, validation, and tolerance instead of change.
Radical Acceptance for family members
Recycling
When we engage in a breakup-makeup cycle
US: "Relationship Recycling" - What is it?
A Run Message
Is when we tell someone to 'run' from the relationship, this is not an appropriate message for those posting on Staying
Schema Therapy
Schema Therapy was developed by Dr. Jeffrey E. Young for use in treatment of personality disorders and chronic Axis I disorders, such as when patients fail to respond or relapse after having been through other therapies (for example, traditional CBT). Schema Therapy is a newer, integrative psychotherapy [1] combining theory and techniques from existing therapies, including Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, psychoanalytic object relations, Attachment Theory, and Gestalt therapy.

SET
is a communication tool.
Support
Empathy
Truth
TOOLS: S.E.T. - Support, Empathy and Truth
How To Manage a BPD Relationship/Reducing Anger Using SET
Communication Overview]
Splitting
Splitting refers to a primitive defense mechanism characterized by a polarization of good feelings and bad feelings, of love and hate, of attachment and rejection. We often talk of being painted black or painted white by our pwBPD.
BPD BEHAVIORS: Splitting

T
Therapy or Therapist
Theraputic separation
In a therapeutic separation, the couple agrees to the terms of the separation, with the guidance and counsel of the therapist. Both are engaged in ongoing therapy and there may be occasion for individual work as well. In these separations, dating becomes the means of contact with each other, and contact is reduced to a minimal level so that each can gain a glimpse of what it would be like to live without the partner and experience the most positive aspect of being together. There are mutual rules established around the terms of the separation, these include and are not limited to such choices as monogamy, dating others, privacy, finance, how to deal with work, family and friends, and if relevant the care of children. The time frame is 3-6 months, anything longer tends to increase the possibility of moving too far apart to come back together, and anything shorter tends to be too quick to actually fully benefit from the time apart.  From Therapeutic Separation for Couples By Margy Davis-Mintun, LCSW, ACSW
Therapeutic Separation
Timeout
Stepping back and giving yourself some time and space from your pwBPD
How to take a time out
Triangulation
When two people are in some conflict and one enlists or aligns with a third party to support their position.  Triangulation, as coined by Murray Bowen MD is the “process whereby a two-party relationship that is experiencing great intensity will naturally involve a third party to reduce anxiety” (Bobes & Rothman, 2002).
This unhealthy dynamic commonly happens in family, close friendship, or organizations.  Who or what is right is determined more by the pairing than the issues.
The concept was originated by Bowen in his study of family systems: www.thebowencenter.org/pages/concepttri.html
Trigger
Having non-constructive reactions to specific words or actions based on prior experiences.  We've all been there - resentment, pessimism, defensiveness, impatience, closed mindedness, distrusting, intolerance, confrontational, defeated
Validation
Is listening with empathy to another's point of view, their feelings or their experience. It involves giving your full attention, and listening to both the feelings and the needs being expressed, and trying to understand by putting yourself in another's shoes.
Communication using validation. What it is; how to do it
TOOLS: Stop Invalidating Your Partner (or the BPD person in your life)

Venting
The expression of intense thoughts and feelings.
US: Venting - is it healthy or unhealthy?
Wisemind
Attempts to synthesize and compromise between the logical mind and the emotional mind. Uses deepest aspirations to determine the best course.
Triggering and Mindfulness and Wise Mind

[Randi Kreger]

BTW, in my new (third) book I am using the term "secondary non-BPs to describe step parents.Secondary nons are not the people who "care about someone with BPD."  They get all the pain but none of the benefits of ever having a positive relationship with a person with BPD. This is different since the rest of the nons do--or did--love the BP at some point.So in a way it's more difficult because a secondary non has very little to NO control over the situation. If you're a stepparent, for example,  you can make your opinion known to your partner, but the partner makes the decisions.

[Mr. M]

I like the term "collateral non", too.   As a non, dealing with a BP is like having to deal with a proverbial grenade rolled into your tent.  Often time, there is collateral damage.

[CharlyB]

A funny story about acronyms.
Someone on another message board asked what DH meant.
The response was ":)ear Husband".
Her reply... ."Oh, I thought it meant DickHead". 

AAT - And another thing
AFAIK - As far as I know
ATTN - Attention
BDINI - Big deal I'm not impressed
BG - Big grin
BEG - Big evil grin
BRB - Be right back ( Used primarily in online chats)
BTDT - Been there, done that
BTW - By the way
CU -- See you
CUL (CUL8R) - See you later
DGMW - Don't get me wrong
DGMS - Don't get me started
EOM - End of message/no comments ( when used in a subject line, it means that the message contains no text: The poster said it all in their subject line.)
FAQ - Frequently asked questions
FF - Fast forward
FWIW - For what it's worth
FYA - For your amusement
FYI - For your information
GAL! - Get a life!
GMAB - Give me a break
GMTA - Great minds think alike
GR& - Grinning, running, and ducking
HHOK - Ha ha, only kidding
HTD - Had to disagree
HTA - Have to agree
HTH - Hope this helps
IAC - In any case
ICAM - I couldn't agree more
ICHSIB - I couldn't have said it better
ID - I disagree
IDTS - I don't think so
IIRC - If I recall correctly
IMAO - In my arrogant opinion
IME - In my experience
IMHO - In my humble opinion
IMNSHO - In my not so humble opinion
IMO - In my opinion
IOW - In other words
IRL - In real life
IRT - In real time
ISC I stand corrected
ISP - Internet service provider
ITA! - I totally agree!
JAT - Just a thought
JK - Just kidding
JMHO - Just my humble opinion
LMJA - Let me just add
JMO - Just my opinion
LBAY - Laughing back at you
LMAO - Laughing my ass off
LOL - Lots of laughs or laughing out loud
LOLBAY - Laughing out loud back at you
MMHA - My most humble opinion
MMHA2U - My most humble apologies to you
NBIF - No basis in fact
NBIR - No basis in reality
NRN - No response necessary
OIC - "Oh, I see"
OMG - Oh, my goodness or Oh my God
OTOH - On the other hand
PMFJI  - Pardon me for jumping in
PMJI - Pardon my jumping in
POV - Point of view
RL - Real life
ROAR! - Just like ROLF (Laughing as loud as a lion)
ROFL - Rolling on the floor Laughing or ROTFL
ROFLMAO(ROTFLMAO) - Rolling on the floor laughing my ass off
ROFLMHO - Rolling on floor laughing my head off
ROTFLMAOPMP - Rolling on the floor laughing my ass off peeing my pants
RSN - Real soon now
SORAS - Soap opera rapid aging syndrome
STS - Sorry to say
TAF - That's all folks
TAN - Tangent - it means that the message is going to be off-subject
TFI - The fact is
TFM - Thanks from me
TFMT - Thanks from me, too
TIA - Thanks in advance
TIC - Tongue in cheek
TIC - (alternate meaning) The idiot(s) in charge
TIG! - That is great!
TIIC - The idiots in charge
TPTB - The powers that be
TTFN - Ta Ta for now
TYVM - Thank you very much
VBEG - Very big evil grin
VWP  - Very well put
WAGS - What a great story
WP - Well put

[elphaba]

The abbreviation key is great, that seems to be one of the questions that comes up frequently.

Projection- When the BPD starts attributing their own acknowledged/unacknowledged feelings to others, making the non believe those issues belong to the non and not the BPD themselves.  They project their inadequacies, shortcomings, behaviours etc. on to other people to avoid facing up to their inadequacy and doing something about it (learning about oneself can be painful), and to distract and divert attention away from themselves and their inadequacies. Projection is achieved through blame, criticism and allegation; once you realise this, every criticism, allegation etc that the bully makes about their target is actually an admission or revelation about themselves. BPD starts accusing you of what he is THINKING, DOING OR PLANNING. It is very hurtful to us when they project their thoughts, feelings, behaviours, and impulses and pathololgize the people they target

Mirroring/'introjection'.- An abuser will mirror every good quality you possess. He will adopt your likes and dislikes, choices, admire you, and mimic your characteristics.  This is how they appear to be our 'soulmate' in the early 'idealization of us' stage of the relationship. When they are 'introjecting' or mirroring, they assimilate our plans, philosophies, dreams and goals. They can mimic our words and ideas. We feel like we've met someone perfect. It never lasts. The real person, unfortunately is not the P who was so like us, the real person is the cruel disordered P who eventually emerges.


My brain is fried right now, I will continue to think of things and will add them... .

[AJMahari]

A funny story about acronyms.

Someone on another message board asked what DH meant.

The response was ":)ear Husband".

Her reply... .

"Oh, I thought it meant DickHead". 

Lol, that is funny

There are so many though, aren't there? It's likely getting harder for everyone to recognize each one all the time or as new ones pop up. If I think of anything to add I'll post it but hey what an impressive and extensive list you already have defined here. Great stuff.

[MGMom]

The glossary key is great.  When I first came to this site, I would get so confused trying to figure out what all the terms meant. 

The most inspiring thing for me, though, is I did not realize some of these behaviors actually had names.  The gaslighting post that Elphaba wrote was a real eye opener.  My husband, the non, used to use that all the time to try to hide or deflect the craziness in his family.  It was so frustrating to me. 

PS.  Just a funny:  When I first found message boards, I thought LOL meant Lots of Love.  I thought, " Well, aren't these just the sweetest folks."  Took me a while to figure it out. LOL

[Skip]

These definitions are courtesy of New York Presbyterian Hospital in New York

Acting Out: Expressing unconscious emotional conflicts or feelings, often of hostility or love, through overt behavior, thus bypassing conscious awareness and experience of feeling.

Boundaries: In borderline personality disorder patients, the concept of boundaries involves a sense of respect for another person's personal space. Since BPD patients often have difficulty with this, treatment often involves setting limits to teach and underline boundaries.

Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy: A type of psychotherapy in which the therapist teaches the patient to restructure his or her cognitive beliefs, (i.e. thought patterns) and hence, behavior.

Co-morbidity: The presence of coexisting or additional diseases with reference to an initial diagnosis. Comorbidity may affect the ability of affected individuals to function and also their survival; it may be used as a prognostic indicator for length of hospital stay, cost factors, and outcome or survival.

Co-occurring Disorders: Disorders that commonly coincide with a certain condition. An example is bulimia as a co-occurring disorder of borderline personality disorder.

Countertransference: The therapist's emotional response to the transference (see Transference). At times, negative countertransference may cause limitations and interfere with the patient's treatment.

Cutting: A common practice among borderlines to self-injure by cutting their skin with knives or other sharp objects.

Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM): A publication put out by the American Psychiatric Association that classifies and defines different psychiatric diagnoses and lists the criteria for them.

Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT): A form of cognitive-behavioral therapy for BPD patients that teaches them skills to reverse their negative thoughts and behaviors. It emphasizes balance between acceptance and change in helping clients with serious psychiatric symptoms, in order to relieve those symptoms and improve the quality of life.

Electroconvulsive therapy (ECT): Electrically induced seizures primarily used in the treatment of severe affective disorders, depression and schizophrenia

Impulse Control Disorders: Disorders that affect a person's judgment or ability to control strong and often harmful impulses, such as verbal or physical violence, substance abuse, eating behavior and sexual promiscuity.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder: A personality disorder characterized by excessive feelings of self-importance and entitlement, a pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy. These qualities are usually defenses against a deep-seeded feeling of inferiority or of being un-loveable.

Neurotransmitters: Brain chemicals that communicate between nerve cells, and are thought to be largely responsible for a person's feelings, emotions, actions and behavior.

Object Relations: In the behavioral sciences, a school of thought that emphasizes the importance of mental representation of the self and of others. In this theory, an individual's perception of external reality is largely directed by the unconscious internal representation of self an others. This theory proposes that individuals with BPD respond to internal representations that do not adequately match the real people the individual is dealing with. This could explain, for example, why a BPD patient may be convinced that another person is abandoning them when that is not the case.

Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder: A personality disorder characterized by recurrent and persistent thoughts, impulses, or images experienced as intrusive and distressing. Recognized as being excessive and unreasonable even though it is the product of one's mind. These thoughts, impulses, or images cannot be expunged by logic or reasoning

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder: A diagnosis based on symptoms of fear, terror, helplessness, avoidance of stimuli associated with past trauma, emotional numbing, sleep problems, irritability, hypervigilance, depression, anxiety, and poor concentration. This diagnosis is made when these symptoms follow the experience of a traumatic event.

Projection: A defense mechanism, operating unconsciously, in which what is emotionally unacceptable in the self is unconsciously rejected and attributed (projected) to others, often the treating therapist.

Psychosis: A severe mental disorder characterized by loss of contact with reality and causing deterioration of normal social functioning.

Splitting: A mental mechanism in which the self or others are reviewed as all good or all bad, with failure to integrate the positive and negative qualities of self and others into cohesive images. Often the person alternately idealizes and devalues the same person. From a psychoanalytic point of view, splitting is fundamental to borderline personality disorder, and underlies the dramatic shifts in the person's experience of self and others and their difficulty in finding a stable adaptation to life.

Supportive Psychotherapy: A form of psychotherapy in which consistency, support from others and a hopeful attitude are used to contain and sustain the patient through crisis periods, and encourage small gains over time.

Transference: The unconscious assignment to others of feelings and attitudes that were originally associated with important figures (parents, siblings, etc.) in one's early life. The transference may or may not be a distortion of what actually occurred in early life, since it is based on early experiences as perceived by the developing mind. The psychiatrist utilizes this phenomenon as a therapeutic tool to help the patient understand emotional problems and their origins. In the patient-physician relationship, the transference may be negative (hostile) or positive (affectionate). In BPD, the transference often alternates between negative and positive.



Transference-Focused Psychotherapy (TFP): A specialized version of psychodynamic psychotherapy including an emphasis on certain aspects of psychoanalytic theory and modifications of some techniques of psychodynamic therapy in order to adequately address the special problems of borderline patients. Its roots are in the object relations model and the ensuing emphasis on transference as the key to understanding and change in the patient, since it is believed that the patient's internal world of object representations unfolds and is “lived” in the transference.

[peacebaby]

Thank god I finally found the acronym explanations! I was starting to lose my mind! Just told my partner that she's my dBPDso, and she says she wants that on a T-shirt in the fuzzy letters. 

peacebaby

[Murphy]

aahhh!  Hadn't found that.  Thanks Skip!

[peacebaby]

I talk with my DBPDSO about this board, and as a person with BPD she is not nuts about how we refer to people as BPDs "borderline personality disorders" instead of, say, *people* with borderline personality disorder. She has actually coined pwBPD like PWA for people with AIDS. She's actually mostly kidding with this, the whole riff on people with disabilities wanting new names, but at the same time, she has a point. I hate when people say "gays" or "blacks" instead of "gay people" or "black people". 

Just wanted to share. My pwPBD hopes that others will be amused.  >:D

Peacebaby

[PDQuick]

GAL? Ive never figured that one out.

[Skip]

I talk with my DBPDSO about this board, and as a person with BPD she is not nuts about how we refer to people as BPDs "borderline personality disorders" instead of, say, *people* with borderline personality disorder... .

Borderline Personality Disorder is such a long word, we end up with all types of shortcuts - 29 letters!.

Nonetheless, I think a lot of us can appreciate what your SO is saying.  

The problem is pretty much resolved if the acronym is completed.  dBPDh means diagnosed BPD husband..  But even at that, it's 5 letters.

Many shorten it to BP (borderline person) when it repeats in a thread.

Thanks for raising this awareness.

Skippy

PS: A guardian ad litem, or G.A.L., is a spokesperson for a minor child or incompetent spouse for the duration of a case.

[Stepmom04]

GAL? Ive never figured that one out.

Guardian Ad Litem - attorney appointed to represent the bests interests of a child involved in litigation 

Sm04

oops, sorry Skip, didn't catch the bottom of your post until after I posted

[brotherofbp]

living with a BP is old hat for me (all my life, almost), but I'm new to some of the terms used on this site.  What's "Waif" mode?  I gather it's a BPD behavior pattern, but what, exactly, is the term referring to?

[Skip]

Good question 

In her book, Understanding The Borderline Mother, Christine Lawson PhD describes four role types. The Queen is controlling, the Witch is sadistic, the Hermit is fearful, and the Waif is helpless.  see workshop  see book review

[lois]

What does FOO mean?  I've looked, but I can't find it anywhere either.  Thanks!

[PDQuick]

FOO= Family of Origin, meaning your parents and siblings.

[theotherside]

Hi, what does IDK mean? Thanks

[Chili]

I Don't Know.

[Steph]

Is it perhaps INTP? which means

Introverted Intuitive Thinking Perceiving, a Myers-Briggs personality type?

Steph

[Itza]

How would we be able to differentiate between sister-in-law and son-in-law if the abbreviations are both SIL?

[JoannaK]

Itza, I think it is just the context... .   If people have a situation involving both a son-in-law and a sister-lin-law, hopefully that poster will differentiate.  These aren't ordained abbreviations; they are just those that people commonly use, Itza.  Thanks for the good question.

[xyzzy]

Question regarded "diagnosed" when reading posts. I'm a little confused as to how to take the usage of that term. Generally speaking, is diagnosed anticipated to be used only when the BP partner has received a formal diagnosis or is also used when one party has been told that the others behavior is most-likely to be? And so on.

[Skip]

Question regarded "diagnosed" when reading posts. I'm a little confused as to how to take the usage of that term. Generally speaking, is diagnosed anticipated to be used only when the BP partner has received a formal diagnosis or is also used when one party has been told that the others behavior is most-likely to be? And so on.

Diagnosed generally means a clinician seeing the person first hand has suggested BPD - formally or informally.  A third party dx is uBPD.

Does that help?

[xyzzy]

Thanks for the reply, that does answer my question.

[Randi Kreger]

one more clarification needed:  flea?  thanks. sadlou

Whenever I see this question, I think of Edith, my volunteer for a decade or more. As far as I know, she was the first one to use this term with the adult children in my own online group. She died in 2005 from cancer and I still miss her a whole lot. Randi

[canttakeitanymore23]

I think the abbreviations&acronymns are super-cool.I feel like I am learning a new language.I am new to this.This is pretty comprehensive/all-inclusive.Thx!(Thanks!)!

[serenityismine]

Thank you for this thread.

I am not comfortable with labels, as I am not a doctor specializing in this area.

I suppose I can see, in so much of what I've read, my husband... that there is a real possibility that I could reduce him to the abbreviation of ustbxBPDh.

I don't see the same similarities in me.

I'll know how to abbreviate myself as soon as my testing is complete.

As he's accused me of having BPD - I am going to get a professional diagnosis.

Thanks again.

[Skip]

Is it perhaps INTP? which means

Introverted Intuitive Thinking Perceiving, a Myers-Briggs personality type?

This may help... .the percentages are interesting... .

The Myers-Briggs typology model regards personality type as similar to left or right handedness: individuals are either born with, or develop, certain preferred ways of thinking and acting. The MBTI sorts some of these psychological differences into four opposite pairs, or "dichotomies," with a resulting 16 possible psychological types. None of these types is "better" or "worse"; however, Briggs and Myers theorized that individuals naturally prefer one overall combination of type differences.[1]:9 In the same way that writing with the left hand is hard work for a right-hander, so people tend to find using their opposite psychological preferences more difficult, even if they can become more proficient (and therefore behaviorally flexible) with practice and development.

The 16 different types are often referred to by an abbreviation of four letters, the initial letters of each of their four type preferences (except in the case of iNtuition, which uses N to distinguish it from Introversion). For instance:

    * ESTJ - Extraversion, Sensing, Thinking, Judging

    * INFP - Introversion, iNtuition, Feeling, Perceiving

And so on for all 16 possible type combinations.

ISTJ ISFJ INFJ INTJ ISTP ISFP INFP INTP ESTP ESFP ENFP ENTP ESTJ ESFJ ENFJ ENTJ

11.60% 13.80% 1.50% 2.10% 5.40% 8.80% 4.30% 3.30% 4.30% 8.50% 8.10% 3.20% 8.70% 12.30% 2.40% 1.80%

[JoannaK]

Recycling:

Please read our Workshop here:

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=95860.0;all


"Splitting" or "painting black or white" occurs when someone with BPD moves from believing that someoen is all good (white) then all bad (black), then perhaps back to all good again.   

Please read the Workshop here:

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=62033.0;all


We have a good article about "No contact" also

Please read here:

https://bpdfamily.com/bpdresources/nk_a110.htm

[mwbpd]

What does EnDad mean?  Couldn't find that one under the link given which seemed closed.

TIA

[Skip]

enabling dad   

[mwbpd]

enabling dad   

Duh... .I was raking my brain.  You'd think I would have guessed that one since mine too is an enDad.

Thanks!

[Sara]

What does MOTY mean?  ("... .she could move into MOTY mode"

On "How long before the uBPD shows itself to the new partner"," Reply #1, by Skip, September 21, 2009 at 03:16:20 PM

Thank you!

[PDQuick]

Mother Of The Year.

[Sara]

Thank you, PDQ!

[mdn73]

What does RTF stand for? 

[Skip]

Residential Treatment Center or Residential Treatment Facility

A full-scale residential treatment center is designed to treat and educate children and adolescents who are not succeeding in school or in life in general. The primary reason for a child being placed in one shouldn't be driven solely by a school-based problem, but rather by behaviors and mental health issues that are impairing his or her ability to function appropriately in most or all aspects of daily life.

[1bravegirl]

thanks so much for this question... for the life of me i had no idea what foo meant... it was drivin me crazy!  thanks again!

[KMTTP]

I have been hearing a lot about the term 'recycling' and I just wanted some clarification on what that meant.   

[Skip]

It is discussed in detail, here:

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=95860.0

[Mermaid7seas]

I've seen some other terms in posts and not sure what they mean.  What does re-engaging mean?

I've figured out most of the abbreviations here, except one: FOO. What's it mean?

[scrabble]

It means Family Of Origin.

The family you grew up with.

[mige]

What is trolling?

I looked through the thread, but I didn't see it. Sorry if I missed it.

[TonyC]

not really a borderline term...

but seems like something i would use

fishermen troll ususally dragging a net or something like that... .and drag the bottom of the ocean... to catch anything... .they can...


applying it to a person with BPD

would be going to a singles bar... or surfing a dating site... .for anyone to be with... .with no real inttention of being picky... .just the first person who talked to them would do... .


tony

[Skip]

Trolling and Trolls are Internet slang terms - not sure it has a precise definition.

Found this definition online:

Trolling - and act of appearing on Internet forums and boards with malicious intent.  Trolling includes... .

-purposely inciting people to flame at you

-putting the forum down and encouraging people to leave.

-flaming

-spamming

-using several identities on a board to support your own arguments / stage pretend arguments

-generally being a dick on a power trip or because you can get away with it

Some trolls claim their actions benefit others. 

[Mermaid7seas]

What is toxic recycling?

[newfreedom]

What does DH stand for?

[JoannaK]

Toxic recycling is related to excessive make-up/break-up cycles in a relationship.  After 2, one should start asking why they keep going back.

Added: Discussion of Make-up/break-up cycles

bpdfamily.com/message_board/topic=120215.0

[harmony1]

what are "CD" and "FM", "SO" next to a newbie post?

[PDQuick]

These abbreviations are for newbies posting on the new member board .  The abbreviations identify the category of newbie (the relationship of the person with BPD in the new members life) so that regular members can more quickly identify people to help.  These abbreviations also identify newbies in the "unread posts" lists so that we all know there is somene new that needs our help.

When you see these designations - please show your support.

[harmony1]

Thanks!

[hydden]

I am confused about the difference between:

non

pwBPD

BP

Thanks

[PDQuick]

Non is a person without BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) that is trying to have a relationship at some level with someone who has BPD.

pwBPD= Person with BPD

BP= Borderline Personality

Does that help?

[LionDreamer]

LD

[hydden]

But if BP refers to the person, as stated in the definition, does BP=pwBPD?

[Skip]

LD

Long distance relationship. Also abbreviated as LDR.

But if BP refers to the person, as stated in the definition, does BP=pwBPD?

BPD is an abbreviations for the disorder.

pwBPD is an abbreviation for "person with BPD.  BP is an abbreviation for Borderline Person.

It's probably best not to refer to the person as the disorder.  My BPD doesn't sound any better than my cancer, my diabetic... . 

[havana]

Just remember that all of it is reversed during leap years

[Skip]

Well, it's interesting to see Mary Zanarini's  distinction in the use of the terms recovery and remission in BPD.

Extended Recovery=remission of symptoms and having good social and vocational functioning during the previous 4 years.

Recovery=remission of symptoms and having good social and vocational functioning during the previous 2 years.

Remission=remission of symptoms

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=117735

[Randi Kreger]

I would like to discuss a new abbreviation: HCP.One thing I am realizing more and more is that the people we call pwBPD are really people with BPD and NPD, or BPD and some other disorder/comorbid. But BPD has a comorbid rate of:70% Depression35% Substance abuse 25% NPD25% eating disorders 15% BipolarWhat I am thinking about moving to is HCP or high conflict personality. That is what Bill Eddy uses in Splitting. Randi KregerAuthor, "The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder"

[SunshineStorm]

What is CD? It is on my posts... .And I am struggling with responding to individual posts. What is the easiest way? I have tried hitting "quote" erasing and adding my response, etc.

Sunshine

[Skip]

CD = Child

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=26601.msg1107788#msg1107788

I would try just using the replay button:

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?action=help;page=post#reply

Hope that helps - but if not, please contact a moderator.   

[1stof4]

So . . . what's a Flying Monkey?

[blackandwhite]

So . . . what's a Flying Monkey?

1stof4,

"Flying Monkey" is a completely colloquial term used here, and probably elsewhere, to describe someone who does the bidding of a harmful person. The image comes from the Wizard of Oz, in which the Wicked Witch of the West unleashes her flying monkeys upon the band of heroes. I see it used most often on the Coping with Relatives board, where many members come from dysfunctional families. We have a workshop, not about "flying monkeys" using that term, but about the family systems dynamics the term informally captures:



TOOLS: Family systems: understanding the Narcissistic Family

Families with BPD members are often dysfunctional and narcissistic, meaning children meet parents' needs instead of the other way around. Understanding how families work as a system helps us see our own roles and gives us tools to change the script. Learn more:

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=108970.0

Hope that helps!

B&W

[Am I crazy?]

What is gaslighting? 

[Skip]

Gaslighting  The term derives from the 1938 stage play Gas Light (originally known as Angel Street in the United States), and the 1940 and 1944 film adaptions. The plot concerns a husband who attempts to drive his wife to insanity by manipulating small elements of their environment, and insisting that she is mistaken or misremembering when she points out these changes. The title stems from the husband's subtle dimming of the house's gas lights, which she accurately notices and which the husband insists she's imagining.

"Gaslighting" has been used colloquially, since at least the mid 1970s, to describe psychologically upsetting manipulations of the type depicted in the play and film: In her 1980 book The Best Kept Secret: Sexual Abuse of Children[1] Florence Rush summarizes George Cukor's 1944 film version of Gas Light, and writes, "even today the word [gaslight] is used to describe an attempt to destroy another's perception of reality."

Sometimes the term is used here to suggest a premeditated effort to make someone think they are crazy? And while it may appear that way to us, but people with BPD are generally impulsive - not so premeditated.

More often what is happening is that we are willingly buying another persons distorted view?  People distort their own view of reality all the time - it's a defense mechanism.  

We have to be careful not to buy it.

The real issue is Cognitive Distortions and Anxiety on the part of the pwBPD and our willingness to jettison our own perception and except theirs.

Here are the common Cognitive Distortions according to David Burns, MD:

1. All-or-nothing thinking (splitting) – Thinking of things in absolute terms, like "always", "every", "never", and "there is no alternative". Few aspects of human behavior are so absolute. (See false dilemma.) All-or-nothing-thinking can contribute to depression. (See depression).

2. Overgeneralization – Taking isolated cases and using them to make wide generalizations. (See hasty generalization.)

3. Mental filter – Focusing almost exclusively on certain, usually negative or upsetting, aspects of an event while ignoring other positive aspects. For example, focusing on a tiny imperfection in a piece of otherwise useful clothing. (See misleading vividness.)

4. Disqualifying the positive – Continually reemphasizing or "shooting down" positive experiences for arbitrary, ad hoc reasons. (See special pleading.)

5. Jumping to conclusions – Drawing conclusions (usually negative) from little (if any) evidence. Two specific subtypes are also identified:

         * Mind reading – Assuming special knowledge of the intentions or thoughts of others.

         * Fortune telling – Exaggerating how things will turn out before they happen. (See slippery slope.)

 

6. Magnification and minimization – Distorting aspects of a memory or situation through magnifying or minimizing them such that they no longer correspond to objective reality. This is common enough in the normal population to popularize idioms such as "make a mountain out of a molehill." In depressed clients, often the positive characteristics of other people are exaggerated and negative characteristics are understated. There is one subtype of magnification:

         * Catastrophizing – Focusing on the worst possible outcome, however unlikely, or thinking that a situation is unbearable or impossible when it is really just uncomfortable.

 

7. Emotional reasoning – Making decisions and arguments based on intuitions or personal feeling rather than an objective rationale and evidence. (See appeal to consequences.)

 

8. Should statements – Patterns of thought which imply the way things "should" or "ought to be" rather than the actual situation the patient is faced with, or having rigid rules which the patient believes will "always apply" no matter what the circumstances are. Albert Ellis termed this "Musturbation". (See wishful thinking.)

 

9. Labeling and mislabeling – Explaining behaviors or events, merely by naming them; related to overgeneralization. Rather than describing the specific behavior, a patient assigns a label to someone of him- or herself that implies absolute and unalterable terms. Mislabeling involves describing an event with language that is highly colored and emotionally loaded.

 

10. Personalization – Attribution of personal responsibility (or causal role) for events over which the patient has no control. This pattern is also applied to others in the attribution of blame.

[Skip]

Skip,

I was reading some posts and the word thread was used as maybe a site on forgiveness? I am very new to communication like this can you explain further ?

This is a really good questions as we have not defined this term anywhere 

Community refers to bpdfamily.com

Board refers to each subgroup on the message boards (Staying in a BPD Relations, Leaving a BPD Relationship, etc.)

Thread refers to a topic published by a member.

Post refers to the responses.

[divestdaisy]

Thank heavens for the Acronyms for Dummies page!  Whoever took the time to compile it, I would be lost without it!

[blackandwhite]

pwBPD = person with borderline personality disorder

[cdmitch]

Hello, I am new here and was wondering if there was a place or way to print all of the abbreviations without the replies or commentary?

Thank you,

  cdmitch

[lbjnltx]

dear cdmitch,

i understand the problem you are having... .i have that problem as well.  the best way i have found is to copy using your mouse to highlight and then paste it to your email... .then print your email.  you must have your email tab open at the same time you have the ftf site tab open.

let me know if this doesn't make sense... .i am not very computer savvy!

lbjnltx

[cdmitch]

Thank you lbjnltx!    I didn't know if we were permitted to copy, paste & print or not.  That's what I was going to do, but thought I should ask first to see if there was a page that was already set up for printing or if I could c & p.

[AnnieGetYourFun]

I'd like to ask please what do enmeshed and enabling mean?

Thanks

[Skip]

These are terms to decribe relatioship dynamics.

Interdependence It is what everyone wants.  Interdependence is two whole people who are capable of giving, being vulnerable and connected.

Cohesion is a measure of supportive interaction (including warmth, time together, nurturance, physical intimacy, and consistency).

Enmeshment is a measure of psychological control (including coercive control, separation anxiety, possessiveness/jealousy, emotional reactivity, and projective mystification). In an enmeshed family everyone shares the other's life-system. One learns not to look within one's self for awareness of what one is about, but to the other members of the family. The husband who is happy when his wife is happy and sad when wife is depressed is an example of enmeshment. This is also referred to as co-dependence.

Disengagement is the extreme opposite of both cohesion and enmeshment.

We want Interdependence.  We generally counterbalance the enmeshment with some level of disengagement - hopefully not too much because it also dggrades the cohesion. 

If we are in an enmeshing environment, it's hard not to become enmeshed.  It's not likely we will change the others, so ultimately it comes down to how we process the enmeshing environment as to how it affects our quality of life. 

The starting is point is to realize that this is a problem that we face and the goal we want to achieve.

[Skip]

Enabling is mostly used with alcoholics, but has been adopted here.

We often begin enabling in an attempt to be kind and helpful. For example, we may wake someone so they are not late to work. By doing so, we help them avoid the consequences of oversleeping because they were using or drinking late into the night before. We loan addicts money, often over and over again, and we are surprised when they use it to buy more drugs or alcohol.

Enablers may have their own system of denial.

As our enabling behaviors become routine, we end up feeling frustrated, ineffectual, and angry. Often, we continue to enable because we don't want to appear mean or unreasonable. Enabling behaviors directly and indirectly support the vicious cycle of never-ending problems. When we stop enabling, when we stop helping and covering up for the addict, we allow the pwBPD to experience the consequences of their out-of-control behavior. We no longer wake them up, loan them money, or bail them out of jail. We stop shielding them from the consequences of their behaviors.

[Bluepanda]

Hey all i keep seing people mention "Black" and he or she "Painted me Black"

What does that mean?

[T2H]

A pwBPD (person with BPD) will go through cycles of idealizing (white) and devaluing (black) their partners/friends/etc.  It's a form of black and white thinking - ie. all or nothing - where to her you're in the spotlight, or in the dark.  So either you're pretty much all good, or all bad <- and personally I prefer using those terms.

[Bluepanda]

That makes alot of sense, I'm pretty sure my exBPD has painted me black then

It's not permanent i take it, Is there anything i can do to get painted white again?

[T2H]

Sometimes it's permanent, sometimes not.  Sometimes you can influence, sometimes you can't.

In general giving her what she wants/needs for enough time may get you in the 'all good' category - it won't ever be as good (for you on the receiving end of her appreciation) as the first time you did that though.  You may want to start a topic in Undecided to explore this further.

[TrishTrish84]

I am new to this site and I keep seeing people saying in their post "Painted Black" Can anyone shed some light on what this means.

I am so clueless with all of these abbreviations and terms... .I have read the guide for the abbreviations but I will have to get used to it.

[blackandwhite]

Hello TrishTrish84,

Glad to have you here! There are a lot of expressions to learn, but it makes sense before too long.  "Painted black" is often used in relation to the phenomenon of Workshop - BPD BEHAVIORS: Splitting. Splitting is a psychological defense mechanism in which a person divides something into extremes of "all good" or "all bad." (Many of us prefer "all good" and "all bad" to talk about those extremes.) "Painted black" means someone or something has been ascribed "all bad" qualities and stems from the term "black and white thinking" in which there are no shades of gray. This sort of thinking is characteristic of BPD.

Hope that helps. We ask new members to post an introduction on New Members Board so we can greet you properly and help steer you in the right direction. Stop by and tell us a bit of your story and say  Hi!.

B&W

[alwayslearning]

Where can I find information to read on primary/secondary partner?

[T2H]

Can you clarify what you mean by that term(s)?

[alwayslearning]

Primary being the main partner to the BPD and secondary being the flings on the side.

[T2H]

I'm not aware of any info that covers that in detail.

What would you like to know?

[alwayslearning]

Well, I believe in one of my posts it was used... calling me the primary and I saw it again in someone else's post. I was just interested in any information about that, what purposes both relationships serve.

[T2H]

I've seen it too - but I don't think it's something that's really clearly understood (or even common to all cases/situations).  Essentially people have just used the terms to indicate a relationship for the pwBPD that has been longer running than the others, and one he/she tends to go back to frequently, after the shorter ones fail.  There are various reasons for a "primary partner" - the dynamic is stronger between them, the person continues to allow the pwBPD to return when others don't, etc.  Essentially I'm just saying it's a convenient short-hand for saying... . one main person the pwBPD continues to return to vs the others that he/she has shorter relationships with.  Again, that's not always the case - often a pwBPD will simply go through a string of short-term relationships without there being a primary/secondary.  Or bounce back and forth between a bunch of people (no primary or secondaries - all more or less equal).  Or... .

So I don't think there's much info on it because it's not really any more complicated than that.

[alwayslearning]

ok, thanks

[KateFury]

What does SO, FM, etc. mean in the left margins?

[Senra]

Perhaps I have not looked for the answer throughly enough but I've tried and don't understand what "SO" means in the post icon box... .I'm assuming it means significant other, and I think the post icon box is for drawing atten to the purpose of the post, but aren't all our posts abt our SOs?  I don't get it!  LOL   

[Patty]

These abbreviations are for newbies posting on the new member board .  The abbreviations identify the category of newbie (the relationship of the person with BPD in the new member's life) so that regular members can more quickly identify people to help.  These abbreviations also call out newbies in the "unread posts" lists so that we all can see thath there is someone new that needs our help.

When you see these designations - please show your support and post.

[SisterL]

I've seen this mentioned a couple of times and not sure what it means - can someone explain?

Thanks!

[Matt]

I've seen this mentioned a couple of times and not sure what it means - can someone explain?

Thanks!

It means, if Patty posts something, and then you and I both respond, and your post shows up just as I'm finishing, so I didn't read yours before I posted... .

... .so I say something that doesn't make a lot of sense because you already said it.

Not a big problem but it might look a little funny to somebody reading it later.  So I could say, "Sorry, I cross-posted with SisterL", and that would explain why I wrote something I wouldn't have if I'd read your post first.

[JennyAnyDots]

What are:

CE

DVO

Thanks!

[Matt]

CE is usually Custody Evaluation or Custody Evaluator.

[Skip]

DVO = domestic violence order

[SisterL]

What does this term mean?  I've seen it twice just today.  I've also seen the terms Waif, Queen, etc. and can't locate the article or post that discusses those... .can someone point me in the right direction?

Thank you! 

[WalrusGumboot]

Cluster B is a term used to describe four personality disorders, which are similar, yet distinct. Those suffering from Cluster B personality disorder would have the overlapping symptoms of at least 2 of the 4. They four disorders are BPD, NPD, HPD (Histrionic Personality Disorder), and ASPD (Anti-Social Personality Disorder).

My stbxw is definitely a Cluster B. I thought for a long time she was just NPD/BPD, but further research into the subject showed me she was something different.

A Google search on Cluster B shows a lot of hits. Wikipedia is always a good place to start.

WG

[T2H]

I've also seen the terms Waif, Queen, etc. and can't locate the article or post that discusses those... .can someone point me in the right direction?

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=61982.0

What does this term Cluster B. mean?  I've seen it twice just today. 

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=114843.msg1105063#msg1105063

[Soleo]

These abbreviations are for newbies posting on the new member board .  The abbreviations identify the category of newbie (the relationship of the person with BPD in the new member's life) so that regular members can more quickly identify people to help.  These abbreviations also call out newbies in the "unread posts" lists so that we all can see thath there is someone new that needs our help.

When you see these designations - please show your support and post.

I'm not sure if I undestand SE well. Doest it mean that an ex partner of someone significant to me has BPD e.g. my sister's ex husband? Or does it just mean that MY ex partner has BPD. And this latter one is my case - my exbf probably has BPD. I indicated myself with SO but I'm not sure if I'm right.

[an0ught]

  Soleo,

 for having done your first post and kudos for having figured out how to quote!

You know - you are not be the only one: So anyone reading this if in doubt and or confused - just leave the label. An ambassadors likely will label you (some slip through) - the main purpose of this label is to steer the attention making sure the folks with most experience and interest in your situation (whether ambassadors or existing members) can find the post and can relate to you quickly. The label is a temporary flag for your first post - nothing more and nothing less.

To answer your questions - SO sounds right.

SE is more a label for members where the partner still suffers from  after a long relationship with a pwBPD and often due to children has continuous contact with the BPD ex. Such a situation has a slightly different dynamic.

I really appreciate your question as it allows me to clear this up here. Thank you for your first contribution - please feel free to ask your first question and/or introduce yourself on the new member board. Labeled or not 

[Skip]

Doest it mean that an ex partner of someone significant to me has BPD e.g. my sister's ex husband?

Yes - SE is primarily for a Step parent whose spouse was married to a person with BPD (bio parent).

[Soleo]

Skip, anOught,

Thank you for your explanations I've aready introduced myself on the new memeber board and try to orientate myself  on this site. There is so much interesting information and even more important - compassionate, emphatic people. I'm glad to join you  

[Inspirationneeded]

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=95860.0

[Soleo]

What does "return from Oz" and other "Oz-related" names mean? I've seen them in many posts and I know they refer to the "Wizard of Oz" but what is the origin and why is it related to BPD?

[deesee]

BPD I understand but where do I find dBPD and please tell me why ppl are worried about their poo?

[blackandwhite]

BPD I understand but where do I find dBPD and please tell me why ppl are worried about their poo?

Hi deesee,

The "d" stands for "diagnosed" (as opposed to "u" for "undiagnosed". I'm not sure why people are worried about their poo, though I can speculate.  I suspect they are worried about their "foo," which stands for "family of origin." Hope that helps.

What does "return from Oz" and other "Oz-related" names mean? I've seen them in many posts and I know they refer to the "Wizard of Oz" but what is the origin and why is it related to BPD?

Soleo--this may help with your question: The Wizard of Oz Metaphors

B&W

[VL15]

I hardly understand the acronyms used in most of the posts - more-so when the senior members are using them, who are too-too well versed with everything said here.

Please teach me your language

thank you.

[BPDFamily]

[Stickingwithit]

Oh, that was a totally awesome diagram!  Thank you!

[VL15]

I simply love this thread - absolutely awesome. Thank you for merging my post here.

I was ROFL reading what someone actually thought LOL meant

So,  what does XOX mean   ?

[Phaedrus]

Since reading this website I've learned about several concepts such as disassociation, Karpman Drama Triangle, FOG and extinction burst, all of which are very helpful in explaining certain behavior. I was already familiar with terms like gas-lighting and projection. Is there a list of terms and concepts like this in one place on the website?

[Patty]

Since reading this website I've learned about several concepts such as disassociation, Karpman Drama Triangle, FOG and extinction burst, all of which are very helpful in explaining certain behavior. I was already familiar with terms like gas-lighting and projection. Is there a list of terms and concepts like this in one place on the website?

Hi Phaedrus

If you click on the Top Questions on the Questions board, you should be able to find the answers you need. But if you still have questions, let us know. 

Best wishes

Patty

[Backyardswing]

I'm trying to remember the term/coined phrase I learned from someone creative on the forum that describes a technique we use in communicating with our BPD family members to discourage overly emotional interactions.  An approach that includes keeping the tone of your message supportive yet without inviting dependence/enmeshment.  Usually it involves the boundary of keeping the message brief.  Not hot, not cold.  What was that phrase I'm thinking of? 

[BattleBornMom]

In Workshops, what does US stand for? I feel like I should be able to figure this out, but am dumbfounded.

[blackandwhite]

In Workshops, what does US stand for? I feel like I should be able to figure this out, but am dumbfounded.

It's actually not an abbreviation! It means "US" as in "nons" as opposed to other workshops that focus on understanding BPD.

[JennyAnyDots]

What does IDV mean? As in IDV court? Thanks!

[Matt]

What does IDV mean? As in IDV court? Thanks!

Integrated Domestic Violence.  Some states combine civil and criminal matters;  that can streamline things but it can also rob the accused of their rights in some cases - something to be careful about if you are accused of a crime.

[Cardinals in Flight]

Ooh Thank the God I found this,     the abreviations in my head were, well... .

[Greta]

Thank you for this... .WOW!  Printed and saved for reference

[Grey Kitty]

I'm new here and would appreciate a list of acronyms, as I'm kinda confused half the time.

I know what BPD means or I wouldn't even be here. But asdfBPDjkl doesn't mean much to me, and some of the other ones I've been reading confuse me too.

I understand that a lot of them are shorthand to keep family members names out for anonymity by just describing the relationships... .but I could still need the secret decoder ring!

[Surnia]

Hello greykitty

You can find the acronyms here

(It is under the sticky "frequently asked technical questions" on top of this board)

Yes, I was also confused the first time  

[Grey Kitty]

Thank you very much! I'm much better now

Hmm... .perhaps there is an opportunity here to make some slight improvements on this board for new members... .But this is a minor problem--I've noticed the ambassador program and saw several people in it responding to me right away. THAT is 10x as important as stuff like the abbreviation list, and I've found it now.

[Matt]

Thank you very much! I'm much better now

Hmm... .perhaps there is an opportunity here to make some slight improvements on this board for new members... .But this is a minor problem--I've noticed the ambassador program and saw several people in it responding to me right away. THAT is 10x as important as stuff like the abbreviation list, and I've found it now.

Yeah, the staff have tried to provide a decoder ring but it's never easy for everybody to find.

I think we're best to try to stay away from lots of abbreviations everybody doesn't know.  It doesn't take that long to type out "person with BPD" instead of "pwBPD", and then everyone will know for sure what we mean.

[Zacara]

Just wondering... .what does NC mean?

[beyondbelief]

I seem to recall you are working things out with your H (husband) and have some children.  There are a bunch of abbreviations and even a whole online dictionary for them.  Here are a few that you will likely find useful for your posts.

NC = No Contact only applies to someone who has completely left the relationship including calls and email

LC = Low Contact is similar except there is minimal contact often due to shared children.  

MC = Marriage Counselor (Counseling)

S9 = Son aged 9 (could be any number)

D12 = Daughter aged 12

r/s = relationship

T = Therapist

pwBPD = Person with BPD

SS or SD = Step son or daughter

FOG = Fear Obligation Guiilt

You will likely be able to pick up any others that you need fairly easily.  

[pooky85]

I don't understand all of the abbreviations... .? ? ?

I've never been a member of a board who's members use SO many abbreviations for SO many different terms, and SO many variations of the abbreviations.

I fully realize that there is a perfectly good reference guide in one of the boards that explains the meanings of common abbreviations, but I feel like there should be a guide in the header of the website that lists all known abbreviations and their meanings. It really stinks when I'm right in the middle of reading something and I absolutely can't figure out what the poster is trying to say with the abbreviation they've used.

I'm stuck on MC... .

Doesn't make any sense, I can't make sense of it, and it's not included in the glossary of terms.

[pooky85]

I guess I mostly just don't understand how people can post topics that are SO articulate, and SO detailed and then randomly use abbreviations at points of their topic.

Well, anyway... .I'll continue writing out all of my words.

[Matt]

MC probably means "marriage counselor" or "marriage counseling".

Sorry you're frustrated by all the abbreviations.  I kind of agree with you - we're all better communicators when we write stuff out - but I think too much typing is inconvenient for some members.

Any other abbreviations that still aren't clear?

[drv3006]

I see r/s all over the place.   Please define.

Thanks.

[lbjnltx]

I see r/s all over the place.   Please define.

Thanks.

Relationship

[FoolishOne]

I'm sure this is something I could easily have figured out on my own, but apparently I haven't... .  what does "SO" and "FM" mean... .  they are at the left margin of the topics.

Thank you!

F1

[Surnia]

It is about who in the family suffers from BPD.

FM is Family member, not partner or child

SO is significant other, a partner, husband, wife, girl/boyfriend.

[FoolishOne]

I thought that was the case initially, but then I realized very few posts had initials next to them... .  I notice that some have stars next to them too.

[Surnia]

The stars are Workshops or special educational threads.

Spotting out for threads with stars could be wise. 

[FoolishOne]

OK... .  so the "SO" and "FM" are just random... .  that makes sense to me.

Thank you so much for the info!

F1

[Want2know]

I have merged your questions with an existing thread on this board.  If you take a look at reply #1 on this thread, you will see most of the abbreviations that we use on our site.

Hope this helps. 

[FoolishOne]

Want2know... .  I've already viewed that, thank you... .  but the "SO" and "FM" didn't show up on it... .  I think I get it now... .  It appears as if maybe the author of the topic volunteers those initials, maybe?

[lbjnltx]

Sometimes the poster will designate the r/s themselves.  If not, an ambassador or staff member will do it.  This is only done on the New Members board.

[FoolishOne]

The second column has mainly just symbols of papers... .  but a few have initials... .  usuall either "SO" or "FM".  I've found they mean significant other or family member... .  which makes sense... .  but it doesn't seem to be consistent... .  no biggie... .  just thought maybe I was missing something.

[Want2know]

The second column has mainly just symbols of papers... .  but a few have initials... .  usuall either "SO" or "FM".  I've found they mean significant other or family member... .  which makes sense... .  but it doesn't seem to be consistent... .  no biggie... .  just thought maybe I was missing something.

If you are a long standing member, or someone bypassed our New Member board, they may not have this designation.  I just found this on one of the pages in this thread:

These abbreviations are for newbies posting on the new member board .  The abbreviations identify the category of newbie (the relationship of the person with BPD in the new members life) so that regular members can more quickly identify people to help.  These abbreviations also identify newbies in the "unread posts" lists so that we all know there is somene new that needs our help.

When you see these designations - please show your support.

[louise 716]

pwBPD?

Thanks!

[lbjnltx]

pwBPD?

Thanks!

people with BPD

[margjo]

Hello,

Is there a thread that explains all the abbreviations used on the boards? I know BPD, but, n/c, pw, ss10? many others I haven't figured out.

Thanks!

Margjo

[Waddams]

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=70490.0

Check out reply no. 3 in the linked thread.

 

[margjo]

Thanks, not sure how I missed it. It will make reading and understanding posts a lot easier!

[lbjnltx]

Hello,

Is there a thread that explains all the abbreviations used on the boards? I know BPD, but, n/c, pw, ss10? many others I haven't figured out.

Thanks!

Margjo

n/c and NC = no contact

pw= person with as in pwBPD

ss10= stepson 10 years old

For an official list see Reply #1 in this thread (page 1)

Let us know if you need more help.

lbjnltx

[living in the past]

 trying to find out what R/S means i have read that a lot .

[heartandwhole]

trying to find out what R/S means i have read that a lot .

R/S, r/s = relationship.   

[free-n-clear]

I've noticed the term "gaslighting" used quite a bit on these pages, but there's no definition here. ?

[Surnia]

Yes, you are right with your observation about the use and no definition. The term gaslight is not a official term, its more like armchair psychology and it stems from a stage play / movie.

Often the use of terms like gaslighting communicates less than more. Eg. Instead of "my ex gaslighted me" it's better to say, my ex lied about her age.

[soaringhy]

what does RTC mean

[GreenMango]

Residential Treatment Center 

[lemon flower]

so we have NC, LC and CC, but I came across another one a couple of times on these boards... .

what does MC mean ?

thank you  

[heartandwhole]

so we have NC, LC and CC, but I came across another one a couple of times on these boards... .

what does MC mean ?

thank you  

My guess is marriage counseling. 

[lemon flower]

so we have NC, LC and CC, but I came across another one a couple of times on these boards... .

what does MC mean ?

thank you  

My guess is marriage counseling. 

yes, that makes sense, thx !

[felix22]

Does anyone know what OP stands for?

(not the clothing company) Thankyou!

[free-n-clear]

Hi, floating. OP = Original Poster, the person who starts a thread.  

[felix22]

Does anyone know what DBT means? Thanks!

[lbjnltx]

Does anyone know what DBT means? Thanks!

Dialectical Behavior Therapy

[CanICallYou]

thank you so much for this very helpful information! it really help me a lot

[ElroySpace]

ST ?

[ElroySpace]

ST ?

hi ElroySpace. can you give the context where you saw this?

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=279679.0

[maxen]

thanks Elroy. "ST" stands for "silent treatment."

[shyguy9]

I get what SO means (Significant Other)

What about OSO ?

[Skip]

It means "Other significant other", in general.  It's not used here very often (11 times in 3 million posts).

Here are the last two uses (2011):

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=162702.msg1557551#msg1557551
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=161606.msg1549355#msg1549355

[WindofChange]

It's probably been defined here, but I went through the first page and didn't see (or missed it)... .What does WOE stand for, please?

[Enabler]

Walking On Eggshells

[Skip]

I didn't know either.  It is used in 8,000 posts.