Home page of BPDFamily.com, online relationship supportMember registration here
May 22, 2017, 07:59:53 PM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Borderline personality disorder: statistics Read here
Administrator: heartandwhole
Moderators: Meili, once removed
Member support team: gotbushels, Tattered Heart, Turkish, wendydarling, Woolspinner2000
  Directory Guidelines Glossary   Boards   Help Please Donate Login Register  
96 Member Studies
Adult Children Sensitivity
67% are highly sensitive
Romantic Break-ups
73% have five or more recycles
Physical Hitting
66% of members were hit
Depression Test
61% of members are moderate-severe
108
Pages: [1] 2  All   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: Update on Hs amazing progress  (Read 2230 times)
marnie
*******
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 2054


« on: November 20, 2005, 06:33:21 PM »

Hi, all. H has been so 'normal' lately that I am constantly pinching myself. He has been taking his meds religiously, so I believe that accounts for his good mood and great attitude.

He has been in the woods a lot, hunting first with bow & arrow (2 deer in freezer now) then black powder and now rifle. Weather has been perfect. So much of this could be because nothing has gone 'wrong.'

Today, Sunday, he helped me with my committee's biggest event, feeding abt 250 members of the church for our Thanksgiving feast. (We also feel Habitat folks and other groups, taking meals to them).

Huge amount of organization, and H was amazing. He cut up turkeys brought in by six of us, helped heat up the food, helped arrange the food table, heated the gravy in crock pots, etc., etc.

My kitchen helpers were delighted, as he joked and carried on, but accomplished SO much. He won over some folks who have questioned his tendency to be overly dramatic at times.

He even sang in the Praise Choir (he has a great voice but has not been singing for awhile).

Caveat: When we got home, he went out on his 4-wheeler and nearly 'climbed' a tree with it, but managed to get off it without having it tumble onto him and smash him to bits. Came in quite shaken, sick to his stomach over what nearly happened.

Then he realized he'd not taken 2 doses of meds and said: I'll bet that is why I'm feeling sick ... took one dose and is now on the couch, watching NASCAR.

He sees his T tomorrow. T cancelled last 2 appts; hopefully this one will be kept. If H slips into sarcasm or a rage or just a bad mood, I'll have to remind myself about the meds goof and roll with it.

Long msg, but more to say...
Logged
PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES
This is a high level discussion board for discussing effective actions for solving ongoing and day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems.
This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group by (clicking here).
marnie
*******
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 2054


« Reply #1 on: November 20, 2005, 06:37:47 PM »

Needed to add that I've been more aware lately about how difficult it is for a Borderline to be made aware daily that he/she is the cause of so many problems.

So I've been kinder, gentler, not so quick to remind him that he is BPD. (which is easier when he's on an up-swing, of course). All of this has made us connect better, and it is lovely.

We can actually disagree about something and it doesn't turn into a big deal. He says: you know, I think you are right ... then we both laugh out loud.

Oh, I surely hope this lasts.

marnie :D
Logged
CasaG
*******
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 1447


« Reply #2 on: November 20, 2005, 08:34:21 PM »

Oh, Marnie, I so hope this lasts!  If only they could see and acknowledge how much better *their* lives are when they stay on their meds and keep up the therapy. 

Keeping my fingers crossed for you, lady!
Logged
caggif
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 856


« Reply #3 on: November 21, 2005, 02:43:17 AM »

Hi Marnie,

Great to hear things are going so well for you - doesn't it make for a much more pleasant life all round lol!.

I have been living with vast improvements around here lately too.  It would seem that H has finally accepted that he has BPD. He actually admitted it to an old friend of his from his military days last week, and w/o making it another of his "oh woe is me" stories.  He is also a great deal more forthcoming with telling me whats going on with his T.

  We danced at a party at the weekend, and joy of joys, managed to go Christmas shopping yesterday w/o it resulting in one of his tantrums of I want, I want, I want - he actually even suggested a couple of things we could get for others - now THAT is an improvement.

I have to admit that I too have tried to think more kindly and tolerantly towards H, and act accordingly.  My old gran always used to say you could catch more bees with honey than you could vinegar, and that certainly seems to be case.  For myself, I was just so sick of all the hostilities around here, and decided that I was going to live true to me no matter how H behaved.  Seems like he's finally picking up on the pleasantries  grin

I await the Christmas holidays with more than a little curiosity this year,

I hope the improvements continue for you both,

Love

Caggi xx
Logged
pip
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 763


« Reply #4 on: November 21, 2005, 03:08:36 PM »

i am so over the moon happy for you marnie

its good to hear a success story

please tell us more

pip
Logged
marnie
*******
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 2054


« Reply #5 on: November 21, 2005, 03:19:03 PM »

I thought he had an appt w/his T today; turns out it was his MD, just a checkup. T's appt is just before Christmas and we may be heading on a roadtrip then.

H is still in a very mellow mood, taking his meds carefully--yesterday's lapse seems not to have stirred him up.

But, as we all know, they manage to maintain if everything goes the way they want it to go~

marnie  :P
Logged
been there
*******
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 1532


« Reply #6 on: November 24, 2005, 09:17:40 AM »



   Hi marnie,

   Thats for the update, and glad that things are going well for both of you.

   Mark
Logged
John Galt
Formerly marc, rutheless
*******
Offline Offline

Posts: 1601


« Reply #7 on: November 24, 2005, 09:35:35 AM »

Marnie,

I love hearing when good stuff happens to great people!

Congrats and Kudos to you,because the therapist helps,the meds help and also give yourself a pat on the back because you have played a massive role as well,no less of a role than the meds and the T.

What meds does he take BTW,

Marc
Logged

marnie
*******
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 2054


« Reply #8 on: November 24, 2005, 09:56:22 AM »

Marc, he takes something like 24 meds a day, at 4 specific times. The VA periodically monitors his blood levels and changes them about.

One shrink tried to increase a med, H objected, they did not increase it at that time.

Sorry I cannot tell you exactly what is working & what is NOT working, but right now, he is doing SO well I wouldn't want to change anything.

New T just started working with him, so we'll see.

H was periodically hospitalized, spent eons on psych wards, and I totally credit the VA with getting him on his feet again and functioning.

Initial dx was PTSD from VietNam tours as helicopter doorgunner.

marnie
Logged
still
*******
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 3049


« Reply #9 on: November 25, 2005, 10:33:34 AM »

I am so happy for you both, Marnie, that things are going well.  Thanks so much for sharing your joint success story! 
Logged
2017 Financial Sponsors
Thank you. We are all appreciative of the thoughtful and responsible men and women who provide the support, education, and brotherhood to keep BPDFamily on the air and make a difference in the lives and families of many. To all, thank you for this wonderful resource.
12years
ackybreaky
Aiming4Kindness
akv
Aletheia
alf
allienoah
Anez
anothercasualty
antony_james
apocalypsenow
ArleighBurke
At_Bay
Aussieman
Avi
Axial
azbubba
babyducks
baconeggs
Barny1705
bearhunter
berry
bestintentions
bigredneck
bigsis
blackstone
Bob
bpdmom99
brahmin
braveSun
BritishDad
bunny4523
busybee1116
Calm Waters
Caroled
Cat Familiar
cdizzle
cherisw
chobers
Chosen
chump
cj488
cjames
Clearmind
cleotokos
Cmjo
Cole
Confused1234
confusedhubby
Conundrum
coworkerfriend
cricket
Crushedbyac
Curiously1
Darsha500
dealingwithit
DearBFF
Deb
doubleAries
DoxieLover
drained1996
DreamGirl
duncsvoice
Dutched
earlgrey
earlyL
Englishheart
Eye438
F150
Fian
Fie
FinallyItsTime
Finding Courage
Findingmysong723
flubber767
FlyFish
foggydew
foogarden
Foolishwizdom
ForeverDad
Fr4nz
Frank88
Free One
fromheeltoheal
Gables
Gagrl
Gema
gettingoverit
Gift to myself
gloveman
Gorges
gotbushels
half-life
HappyChappy
Harmless
HarposGal
Harri
havana
Healthy88
heartandmind
heartandwhole
Herodias
Homefree
HopefulDad
HopefulPapaOf2
img001
incadove
InIndia
inwardliberation
its_rosie
JaneStorm
Japeslee
jasmine-1234
jellibeans
Jellycat3
JerryRG
jo19854
joeramabeme
JohnSmith2016
JonnyKrunch
Joyinmotion
JulesC
junebug1929
KansasDad
kc sunshine
Keep
kentavr3
kiddfei
kim peter
Klera
knowingmyself
Kowalski
Kwamina
Kyanite
laker
Larmoyant
Leaf
Learning Fast
letgogirl
Lifewriter16
LilMe
little doggy
ost_in_translation
love4meNOTu
lovenature
lovestogarden
lucylou
luter
malibu4x
maple
Mars22
maryy16
mavis
maxen
Me-Time
meanlittleface
Meili
Memorial Donation
mggt
micWel
Mimmo
mitatsu
Mommyx3
Mother-in-law
MP2
mscj
Mutt
Naughty Nibbler
nevaeh
NewChick33
newlyhopeful
ninjacat
Nope
NorthernGirl
Oakridge
Octy
onelittleladybug
ortac77
ou81201370
P.F.Change
PaGuy
Panda39
patientandclear
PaulaJeanne
PDQuick
Pedros28
Penumbra66
Phoenix
PhoenixJade
Pilate
Pilpel
PinkieV
Pipedreamer25
pr0gressnotperfecti0n
Pretty Woman
Prim808
puppyA
Purged
Qcarolr
Quama
RAPIDclassic1
Rapt Reader
Raul
RDMercer55
Recycle
rfriesen
Ridingthewaves
Riguez
Roselee
RunningWithScissors
Ryno
rzr14
Sad4mydad
Sadly
samanthal
samuell
SamwizeGamgee
sanemom
schwing
SCM
Scrabble
seeperplexed
SES
sidra36
SilentObserver
Skip
Slipping
Sluggo
Someday . . .
Soniab72
Sophia77
StandingTall
steelwork
stellaris
stimpy
Stjarna
stockholmama
supermum
Survived
swampped
SweetCharlotte
sweetheart
T2H
takingandsending
Tattered Heart
tbddbt
TBirdy
Tea Fish
The Teacher
Theo41
TheraminFlick
thisagain
TigerEye
Tippy
TommyBahama
trappeddad
TruthLover
trytrytry
Turkish
ugghh
UndauntedDad
VitaminC
volumetwo
wag the dog
waverider
wchi
wellwellwell
wendydarling
WhatJustHappened?
Whichwayisup
whirlpoollife
whitebackatcha
WhoMe51
william3693
winston72
WitzEndWife
Woolspinner2000
worn_out
yaffle
yamada
Yaryar87
zaqsert


Pay it forward Here

Pages: [1] 2  All   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  



Study the thought patterns and inclinations of a BPD spouse, girlfriend, or boyfriend. Learn relationship building and learn communication skills and strategies for personal growth.

Welcome
READ BEFORE POSTING
Make your first post

Take the pledge
Tell us your story

Perspective Articles
The big picture
Is it BPD?
What does it take to make it?

What is the first step?
[Basic Tools]
Wisemind
Ending Conflict
Listen with Empathy
Don't be Invalidating
Setting Boundaries

Lessons

1 Understanding your partner’s behaviors.

2 Understanding your role in the relationship.

3 Tools: communication validation, and reinforcement of good behavior.

4 Surviving  confrontation and disrespect.

5 Finding inner strength and hope.

6 When everything else fails.


Workshops
Participate Here

Frequently asked questions
... about BPD.
... about using the board.


Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2017, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!