Diagnosis + Treatment
The Big Picture
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? [ Video ]
Five Dimensions of Human Personality
Think It's BPD but How Can I Know?
DSM Criteria for Personality Disorders
Treatment of BPD [ Video ]
Getting a Loved One Into Therapy
Top 50 Questions Members Ask
Home page
Forum
List of discussion groups
Making a first post
Find last post
Discussion group guidelines
Tips
Romantic relationship in or near breakup
Child (adult or adolescent) with BPD
Sibling or Parent with BPD
Boyfriend/Girlfriend with BPD
Partner or Spouse with BPD
Surviving a Failed Romantic Relationship
Tools
Wisemind
Ending conflict (3 minute lesson)
Listen with Empathy
Don't Be Invalidating
Setting boundaries
On-line CBT
Book reviews
Member workshops
About
Mission and Purpose
Website Policies
Membership Eligibility
Please Donate
May 02, 2024, 07:29:01 PM
Welcome,
Guest
. Please
login
or
register
.
1 Hour
5 Hours
1 Day
1 Week
Forever
Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins:
Kells76
,
Once Removed
,
Turkish
Senior Ambassadors:
Cat Familiar
,
EyesUp
,
SinisterComplex
Help!
Boards
Please Donate
Login to Post
New?--Click here to register
Books members most read
105
The High
Conflict Couple
Loving Someone with
Borderline Personality Disorder
Loving the
Self-Absorbed
Borderline Personality
Disorder Demystified
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
> Topic:
I need advice
Pages: [
1
]
Go Down
« previous
next »
Print
Author
Topic: I need advice (Read 344 times)
wrigley52
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 39
I need advice
«
on:
January 23, 2014, 05:42:59 AM »
A week ago I found out that my replacement broke up with my ex... . her and I have become friends and I found out so many lies that he said about me... . well last night on FB someone told me he posted a pic of our dog which I have living with me and put I miss Wrigley... . well people started commenting and he out and out lied and said that Wrigley adored him and didn't like me and that he paid the vet bills which amounted to more than I paid for the dog which is a lie. He said it was tragic that he hasn't seen him in 7 mo. It is tragic he chose it tho by lying to me and cheating to the point I kicked him out.
What I am wondering is this a trap? Is he hoping I will break my no contact which I have done for the last 6 mo cause its only been 6 since we broke up he lied about that too... . is he hoping I will contact him and this way he can hook me again... . I am just trying to figure all this out and I am not going to contact him but it hurts to see that the dog that is sitting on your lap didn't like you! I know its not true but now other people are going to think it.
He has also threatened me twice with a defamation of charcter lawsuit if I didn't stop telling people he lied and cheated. He is a very sick man.
Wrigley 52
Logged
growing_wings
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 529
Re: I need advice
«
Reply #1 on:
January 23, 2014, 07:16:21 AM »
Hi wringley,
BPD's are pathological liars. When they face break ups, is common to see them doing smear campaigns where they talk bad about the Non with all their friends and mutual friendships. Many articles describe this behaviour.
This happened to me too, she would talk badly about me (all lies!) to mutual friends, and i assume she also talked with those that were not my friends but hers only. I dont see it as a trap per se, but as a behaviour they tend to exhibit. Having said that, it is easy for us to feel the need to correct all those lies and enter the game again.
at the beginning i wanted to defend myself, and tell people those were lies, but i think that was part of my ego wanted to get things right, i realized it would take a lot of energy to do that, and at the end of the day, waht people think is not something i cant change.
do not react to those. i found out that during the break up, i found out who my real friends were, and who werent. Thought of it as a cleaning campaign, painful? hell yeah...
Logged
Learning_curve74
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1333
Re: I need advice
«
Reply #2 on:
January 23, 2014, 07:47:26 AM »
Hey wrigley52, I know it's not fun to have him lie on top of the lying and cheating he did to you already. It is enough to drive anybody crazy!
It does get your brain going, which is natural. Here's a few questions for you... . Are you generally a good person that people enjoy being around? How much do you think this incident about the dog will affect your good friendships?
As far as lies go, a house of cards can look great, but it only takes the slightest thing to make it topple. I think you put it well when you wrote, "He is a very sick man."
Hang in there.
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?
Pages: [
1
]
Go Up
Print
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
> Topic:
I need advice
« previous
next »
Jump to:
Please select a destination:
-----------------------------
Help Desk
-----------------------------
===> Open board
-----------------------------
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
-----------------------------
=> Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
=> Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting
=> Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
-----------------------------
Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD
-----------------------------
=> Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD
=> Parent, Sibling, or In-law Suffering from BPD
-----------------------------
Community Built Knowledge Base
-----------------------------
=> Library: Psychology questions and answers
=> Library: Tools and skills workshops
=> Library: Book Club, previews and discussions
=> Library: Video, audio, and pdfs
=> Library: Content to critique for possible feature articles
=> Library: BPDFamily research surveys
Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife
Loading...