Need advice on re-connecting with adult daughter, married and pregnant

[AZ 2 VA]

Hello, Our daughter is 39 and lives 800 miles away. Our relationship goes along just fine so long as she is in full control and our focus is on giving her positive feedback on whatever she does.  However, when we offer advice or do something for our own recreation she texts ‘you’re the worst’ and cuts off all communication by unfriending and blocking phones. After years of going through this cycle, and doing hours of research we believe that she might have BPD.  Does anybody have advise on how to break this painful cycle?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[FaithHopeLove]

Hello AZ2VA. Welcome to the group. This is a great place to get the information and support you need and we are glad you are here. I am sorry things are not going well with you and your daughter. The good news is things can improve. There are communication skills you can learn that will improve your relationship. A good place to start is to have a look at some of the links on the top of this page. Other than cutting you off what does your daughter do that causes you to think she has BPD?

[AZ 2 VA]

Hi.  One of the articles we found that pointed us in the direction of possible BPD was by helpguide.org.  We found that:
 We find ourselves choosing words very carefully for fear of setting her off. 
She does shift instantly from calm to raging. 
We are either welcomed to be in her life or the absolute worst in the world. 
She twists conversations and actions against us, either at the time or in her re-written history of the event.
Anything that goes wrong is our fault. (going back to high school when she would have problems with boy friends which was somehow our fault).