Dealing with someone in support group that is BPD

[MissyM]

I tried working with this woman and she was obviously very ill.  I tried working with her in her business and had to end that relationship.  I tried to leave it at that but she went off the rails, big surprise, and I had to totally cut her off.  She has been arrested for stalking and is quite unhealthy.  I have never dealt with a stalker before and don't really deal with this kind of stuff from people that I am not in a relationship with.  Granted, I have put up with some really bad behavior from a couple of husbands but never from a coworker or friend. 

So, I need some pointers on how to deal with this person.  I am not really interested in having any kind of friendship or relationship, however she keeps trying to stir drama within the support group.  She is not there to get better, part of the reason I cut her loose, and I think will eventually disappear.  Do I just keep ignoring the crazy stuff she does and says?  Thinking she will tire of it and leave.  This would make more sense if it had been a romantic relationship but a friend/co-worker thing really seems bizarre.  I think it might be that she told me a lot of personal things about herself and is afraid that I will tell people.  I have no need to tell people, it is obvious by her behavior that something is wrong with her.

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[Ripped Heart]

Hi Missy,

I'm not familiar with your history but from the information below, it sounds like you have had quite the experience. Being stalked is certainly not a nice experience and can be quite intense and frightening at times. You have every right not to put up with that kind of behaviour.

When she was arrested previously was that for stalking you or other people? Do you feel that you are the only target of this or are there others you are aware of?

You could always ignore the things she does and says but that's also being unfair to yourself. Do you think it's possible by doing that, she could escalate her behaviour to try and get a reaction?

The reason I ask about others is that if this is a pattern of behaviour not specifically targeted at you, you might be able to gather further support from others who have been in the same situation with this person. Likewise, perhaps maybe speak to a lawyer and see where you stand on grounds of an RO.

Again, you don't have to put up with this, as it is abuse and a violation of your boundaries. 

[MissyM]

Again, you don't have to put up with this, as it is abuse and a violation of your boundaries.

 

Thank you!  She was arrested for stalking someone else.  I have blocked her access and she has tried to reach out in other ways.  She was calling where I am currently staying (long story but we are out of our house for a while) and have blocked that. Blocked email, phone, Facebook, etc.   She hasn't shown up where I am or I would call the police.  Have been discussing with a lawyer if I should take legal action and there isn't much to do until she steps over the line by showing up.  Since I have blocked all ways for her to communicate with me, she doesn't have a way to repeatedly contact to harass me.  Have been talking to someone else in my group and believe it will be taken care of as she has apparently done some of this to one other group member.  She is just very unstable.  I have never had any kind of friend behave this way, I will be careful.