Still wrestling

[StartingHealing]

How do y'all.

Been a spell since I posted.  Been working hard at getting some understanding and also looking at myself for the behaviors that contribute to the interpersonal dynamic between me and wBPD with ADD, dyslexia.

Been having feelings of frustration recently.  Even with not assuming and not taking things personal, it gets freaking difficult at times.  I savvy that she didn't "chose" to experience it.  At the same time though, it appears that there is an intentionality behind some situations.  Perhaps I'm over thinking it, or it's part of her pattern that I'm starting to notice now?  Don't know yet.

We have a rescue dog.  Added him (he's fixed) to the household about a year ago.  At the time we had been discussing the possibility of 2 dogs.  We attempted that and it didn't work out since the other dog was, well, lil bit nuts.  Mind you that we have prior experience in rescue groups for dogs and was also a foster for one of them.  Some dogs are not meant to be with other dogs. 

wBPD brought up the idea of getting another dog so we would have 2 dogs and they could be buddies.   It appeared to me that she was attempting to sell herself on the idea during the conversation about it and I was ok with getting another dog. I agreed to start looking.   

Fast forward to the next day.  I get home from work and in the course of the conversation I bring up the fact that the animal shelter closest to us didn't have a young pup that we had agreed to me looking for. 

She had changed her mind again.  And again it was like she was selling herself the idea of not getting another dog. 

Is it kind of usual for BPD people to sell themselves on a situation?  Whether it's for or against it? 

I may be incorrect but interestingly after that discussion, the very next morning she awakens earlier than usual, and starts in about the white noise generator and how it is all my fault for "forcing" everyone in the house for 15 years to listen to it.  However, about a month ago, I didn't turn on the white noise and that time it was not having it on that caused her crappy sleep. 

She also has an white noise app on her phone that she listens to when falling asleep when we are at friends/family houses.

Anyway,  looking forward to comments and insights.

Peace

Is this typical?  Or what?

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

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[Cat Familiar]

Unstable sense of self kinda sums it up.

My husband will get onboard with something and it’s the *best* thing ever. Right now he’s reading books by a contemporary Russian-American novelist and they are the *best* books he’s ever read.

On his suggestion, I read the latest one and thought some of the descriptions were great, the subject matter was topical, but the characters were unlikeable.

My critique I discovered later was echoed in many reviews of the book, but hearing that seemed to deflate him.

I’ve seen this pattern play out many times. Things are the best, until they’re either of no interest or the worst. Overnight he will change his mind about something he’s *sure* about. That goes for people, plans, purchases, etc.