I am lost and drowing and need to SPEAK to other moms of BPD kids

[Ohana]

Please please please can someone reach out to me. My daughter has been diagnosed with BPD... .no-one has bothered telling me anything about it. So all I know is from what I've read online. Although I've picked up this theoretical knowledge, I am lost and drowing and need to SPEAK to other moms of BPD kids! Would appreciate ANY help!

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Thursday]

Ohana, Sorry you are feeling so upset and alone. I am step-mom to a BPDSD who is 24. She is currently doing pretty well.

Try responding to someone else's thread that seems similar to your situation. That is often a good way to make connections here and start a dialog.

Best wishes for you. I just wanted you to know that I read your post! Welcome to the sight and we all want to hear more about your situation with your daughter.

xoxo

Thursday

[Eyeamme]

Ohana, how old is your daughter?

[mimi99]

Thursday's suggestion is a good one. I post, but also look at others threads to find people with similar situations. Identification with others is very important to me, and the support/tools/articles have all helped me tremendously

[JustAMum]

Hi... .I have a 17yr old d who is unofficially diagnosed with BPD. I know what it's like to feel alone and desperate when dealing with issues with my d. I'm a sole parent so her care falls onto my shoulders. I have my own therapist... .psych... .who I talk to once a month. Caring for a teen with a mental illness is really tough. My d suffers from depression, emotional dysregulation and at times impulsivity. She has self harmed in the past. I'm happy to chat anytime. You are not alone. Hugs

[BB_YogaGirl]

You are not alone. I discovered this site only a short time ago but it's given me great comfort to feel the embrace of parents feeling the same burden. My friends, husband, and other family cannot understand and it's very lonely. My daughter is 17.

[Ohana]

You are not alone. I discovered this site only a short time ago but it's given me great comfort to feel the embrace of parents feeling the same burden. My friends, husband, and other family cannot understand and it's very lonely. My daughter is 17.

   

Hi ... .is this how I reply to you? Trying to figure out how this all works!

[Eyeamme]

Yes. That is how you do it.

[jaynebrain]

Welcome Ohana!  This is a great place to get educated, vent, grow and know that we get it.  I think that having a child with BPD is one of the most lonely places to be in the world sometimes and I am sorry that you are hurting.  I would encourage you to go through the educational materials on here and read as much as you can.  Valerie Poor's book is a great resource also.  I would read just a little at a time, just as much as I could cope with.  There is hope, resources, treatment options and you will find a lot of support here.

Most important - self care.  even if it is a favorite cup of tea, please take good care of yourself,

[Ohana]

Welcome Ohana!  This is a great place to get educated, vent, grow and know that we get it.  I think that having a child with BPD is one of the most lonely places to be in the world sometimes and I am sorry that you are hurting.  I would encourage you to go through the educational materials on here and read as much as you can.  Valerie Poor's book is a great resource also.  I would read just a little at a time, just as much as I could cope with.  There is hope, resources, treatment options and you will find a lot of support here.

Most important - self care.  even if it is a favorite cup of tea, please take good care of yourself,

 

Thank you so much... .talking about this is so new to me. Not dealing with it, but talking about this. I feel guilty because she will feel I am betraying her 

[Ohana]

You are not alone. I discovered this site only a short time ago but it's given me great comfort to feel the embrace of parents feeling the same burden. My friends, husband, and other family cannot understand and it's very lonely. My daughter is 17.

   

Hi ... .is this how I reply to you? Trying to figure out how this all works!

Hi BB... .I also feel desperately alone. My daughter is 18, has dreams of a 30 year old, and an emotional capacity of a little child. I am at such a loss. I get so much advice from family but they don't know how impossible it is

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Ohana]

Ohana, Sorry you are feeling so upset and alone. I am step-mom to a BPDSD who is 24. She is currently doing pretty well.

Try responding to someone else's thread that seems similar to your situation. That is often a good way to make connections here and start a dialog.

Best wishes for you. I just wanted you to know that I read your post! Welcome to the sight and we all want to hear more about your situation with your daughter.

xoxo

Hi Thursday, thank you I will look around and do reading, and will tell more about my daughter

[Ohana]

Ohana, how old is your daughter?

Hi Eheamme... .she is 18

[Ohana]

Hi... .I have a 17yr old d who is unofficially diagnosed with BPD. I know what it's like to feel alone and desperate when dealing with issues with my d. I'm a sole parent so her care falls onto my shoulders. I have my own therapist... .psych... .who I talk to once a month. Caring for a teen with a mental illness is really tough. My d suffers from depression, emotional dysregulation and at times impulsivity. She has self harmed in the past. I'm happy to chat anytime. You are not alone. Hugs

hi JustaMum, do you receive this message? I would like to chat

[Ohana]

Welcome Ohana!  This is a great place to get educated, vent, grow and know that we get it.  I think that having a child with BPD is one of the most lonely places to be in the world sometimes and I am sorry that you are hurting.  I would encourage you to go through the educational materials on here and read as much as you can.  Valerie Poor's book is a great resource also.  I would read just a little at a time, just as much as I could cope with.  There is hope, resources, treatment options and you will find a lot of support here.

Most important - self care.  even if it is a favorite cup of tea, please take good care of yourself,

Thank you. Sleep. All I want is to cut off and sleep, or watch a movie. Of MY choice. Quietly. Just once in a while. Without serving others needs all the time. Is that too much to ask for? 

[mimi99]

No sleep or some quiet time is not too much to ask for. Sometimes I wish I could sleep for a week! And please don't feel guilty about reaching out for help. It is anonymous, so your daughter's privacy is protected (although you may want to make sure she can't accidentally come across this on your computer). By taking care of yourself and getting the help you need to begin to cope you will be better able to be a helpful and loving mother to your daughter. If you are drowning, you can't help her learn to swim.

[madmom]

Hello and welcome, I have a daughter who is 27 and diagnosed BPD.  We have been dealing with her "condition" for a number of years.  I know it is really hard and your emotions are all over the place, we are here to help you.  This is a place to safely talk, vent, say what you need to say and you will not be judged.  We have all been on the path you are on ---you are not alone.

[livednlearned]

Hi ohana,

Welcome! I'm glad you reached out and are posting. It's hard to do this alone. I'm a single mom, too, and have a son who was developing BPD traits. Being the sole mama can be really, really hard. Do you have a therapist you can talk to?

Another book that is very enlightening is BPD and Adolescence by Blaise Aguirre. He has a 2nd edition that is out with new research and a helpful list of resources toward the end of the book.

I found some of the older literature/research to be very discouraging, and was heartened to learn how much has been learned about BPD even in the last decade or so.

We're walking this path with you.   

[Reg23]

Highly recommend When Hope is not Enough

[Chilli]

Hi Ohana.I have a 20 year old daughter diagnosed with BPD.Her problems started when she was 13 I suppose but we put a lot of it down to her hormones etc.It was at 17 that things deteriorated.She became very depressed,suicidal,Disassociative Disorder, brief psychotic episodes,terribly angry and lashing g out at others.Now she just comes across as a spoilt brat.She is manipulative,lies all the time,does what she wants regardless of the consequences.She goes from one boyfriend to the next after a couple of weeks.She has lost all her friends and doesn't seem to care.We have taken her to so many counsellors and she attends a psychiatrist.Her behaviour is tearing our family apart and I just feel so disgusted with the way she has turned out.I'm also hoping to get some support from this website as you can feel very alone at times

[NGU 1999]

Ohana

I am the father of a daughter with BPD traits.  I feel your pain as I see them in my wife's struggles as she spends the most time with her. Today was the first day I made a post and it has helped already. The only thing I can offer is positive thoughts and never give up.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders