I changed my number, why haven't you?

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

Curious?

I changed my number over a year ago, so I wouldn't have to worry about getting a text, a strange call, hearing voicemails that she's going to end her life, what a horrible person I am, the same type of disturbing text, I'm swallowing pills etc... . I didn't do it to be mean, it was just very unhealthy... . IT WORKED FOR ME... . I couldn't take the calls anymore... . it would trun me inside out at times... .

I shouldn't have had to change my number(I get that) but it was for the best. So I changed it.

For those that don't have children, why would you keep the same number?  Isn't it possible that they can can contact you? different numbers? unknown calls? I'm curious, is that part of not letting go for some? Because, I read some post, no offense to anyone... . That they called, emailed, text etc... . and it was hurtful, so why leave yourself open to that? Just curious?

[Tolou]

Curious?

I changed my number over a year ago, so I wouldn't have to worry about getting a text, a strange call, hearing voicemails that she's going to end her life, what a horrible person I am, the same type of disturbing text, I'm swallowing pills etc... . I didn't do it to be mean, it was just very unhealthy... . IT WORKED FOR ME... . I couldn't take the calls anymore... . it would trun me inside out at times... .

I shouldn't have had to change my number(I get that) but it was for the best. So I changed it.

For those that don't have children, why would you keep the same number?  Isn't it possible that they can can contact you? different numbers? unknown calls? I'm curious, is that part of not letting go for some? Because, I read some post, no offense to anyone... . That they called, emailed, text etc... . and it was hurtful, so why leave yourself open to that? Just curious?

[fromheeltoheal]

I looked at it differently.  I kept my phone numbers, my email addresses, unfriended her on Facebook but didn't block her and continued to post most things publically, because fck her.  I gave her WAY too much power in the relationship, and when I took it back, I took it all the way; that fcking bhit will no longer have ANY control over me.

So texts, her favorite way to communicate, stopped immediately, and she called a couple of times but didn't leave messages.  Amazingly I had the restraint to not look at her Facebook ever, and she never posted anything on mine.  She knows what she did, and my take is she got the message and cowered off in shame, which is exactly what I wanted.  About a year after I got a pretty long email full of the same old veiled devaluations, manipulation attempts and even a faux apology, with plenty of bait, but I didn't bite.

Geez.  That was a little angry.  I don't have strong emotions towards her anymore, but at the time my anger saved me, and thinking about it now awakened that beast for a minute.  So be it.

[Reforming]

What ever it takes to get space to heal and be healthy.

I blocked her on FB but didn't change my number. Lots of people have my number - I use it for work - so to be honest I never considered changing it.

I've had a few calls and a text (which blasted me for a few days) and I considered blocking her but if you are clear and consistent in your intent - I don't want any contact - and don't respond eventually they will go away.

I think it must be so much harder when there are kids involved but that's true of normal divorces and separations.

It's working for me but if the circumstances changed or deteriorated than I might reconsider.

Good luck with your healing

[Dog biscuit]

After a couple of faul text messages, wich you cannot block in my country, I changed my number. I blocked my ex in every wich way possible. Mail, FB, and mobile. It brings peace and it gives me my control back.

[pinkparchment]

I blocked her and deleted her number from my contacts. Not proud of the fact that it was as much for me as for her.

[Madison66]

I'm going on 120 days out of the 3+ year r/s with my uBPD/NPD ex gf.  My cell phone is supplied by my company and I manage a large piece of business nationally.  Changing my number would have been messy business wise.  The texts and calls stopped from my ex gf within a month of the b/u and I ignored them all.  We live on the same block, so the times she has broken n/c have been surprise "attacks" while I've been out walking my dog. There was the infamous request she made to get a gift back (a painting she did of my house titled "our home" and I did return it to her only after taking my anger out on it.  That was it for the emotions I'll ever expend on her again.  I anticipate her attempting to break n/c again since I'm seeing someone now.  Even though she had her "supply" going with a couple replacements within days of the b/u, I know she won't go away quietly.  Like others have posted, I've taken my life back and will never relinquish it again to her or any other abuser.  Sad to say, but true... .

[Kallor74]

 I kept my phone numbers, my email addresses, unfriended her on Facebook but didn't block her and continued to post most things publically, because fck her.  I gave her WAY too much power in the relationship, and when I took it back, I took it all the way; that fcking bhit will no longer have ANY control over me.

This.

I had to block her so i could regroup and muster up my strength and confidence back. which felt like was under constant assualt by a cracked out Hitler.  But after about 2 months I unblocked her on my phone.  If and when she does text i want to know who it is, so i can laugh about her manipulation tactics that worked so well in the past.

Anyway Heel, you're awesome.

[mywifecrazy]

What ever it takes to get space to heal and be healthy.

I think it must be so much harder when there are kids involved but that's true of normal divorces and separations.

Good luck with your healing

You have NO IDEA my friend!

But even though I have 2 kids with my uBPDxw going no contact as much as possible is still the way to go. I block her phone, FB and only communicate through e-mail so everything is documented. I'm luckier than most who share kids because I have primary custody so it allows me to go NC more as I'm raising the kids by myself for the most part and don't need or WANT any input from her.

[asher2]

Tolou... . my ex and broke up a year and a half ago and it was recommended to me by many people to change my number for the same reasons you listed. I never did that and still have the same number today.

As you mentioned, I received texts and phone calls from numbers I didn't recognize for about six months after we broke up. Seven months to the day of when we broke up, she sent me a text to which I didn't reply (and I later found out she was already engaged at this point).

I guess I'd describe myself as an "information" guy. I like having info on if she might be plotting something. I feel like I didn't keep my number with the hopes that she'd get in contact with me. Instead, I just wanted to know if she was so I could prepare myself for maybe something more. That never happened, but I just wanted info. Since that text last July, I haven't heard a peep from her.

[Waifed]

I looked at it differently.  I kept my phone numbers, my email addresses, unfriended her on Facebook but didn't block her and continued to post most things publically, because fck her.  I gave her WAY too much power in the relationship, and when I took it back, I took it all the way; that fcking bhit will no longer have ANY control over me.

So texts, her favorite way to communicate, stopped immediately, and she called a couple of times but didn't leave messages.  Amazingly I had the restraint to not look at her Facebook ever, and she never posted anything on mine.  She knows what she did, and my take is she got the message and cowered off in shame, which is exactly what I wanted.  About a year after I got a pretty long email full of the same old veiled devaluations, manipulation attempts and even a faux apology, with plenty of bait, but I didn't bite.

Geez.  That was a little angry.  I don't have strong emotions towards her anymore, but at the time my anger saved me, and thinking about it now awakened that beast for a minute.  So be it.

See Bold... . I felt exactly the same way.  I'm not going to change anything just because of her, ever.

[AwakenedOne]

Didn't change it because I wanted to observe whether my uBPDstbxW would call and actually apologize, take any responsibility or have a conscience. I went on with my life regardless. 7 months later no apologies or anything. Observing this has been interesting and reconfirming of who she is. If she calls now I'll ignore or change it. Whatever, her loss.

[Tolou]

asher2... .

I'm glad you were able to keep you number.  I guess we all see these things in different perspective depending on where and much we were involved with them.

At the end I did what was best for me.  The calls and text were non=stop at all times of day and night... . It was a good desicion that hepled me see more clearly,