During our last contact, he was angry and defensive, putting all blame on me , and alternated between that and a cold, distant demeanor. When I confronted him on the coldness he said he "switched off his feelings for the moment" as a defense. Is that something BPs often do, or is it a total lack of feeling when they break up with us? THen an hour later he was kind and chatty again (but I still refused to consider this a "break" and I see it as final goodbye.) Any clarification on this----does the coldness mean he doesn't care? What's up with suddenly being chatty at the end of the discussion?
If I had to guess, I'd say the cold behavior is RAGE. Anger is more passionate than that, but rage can be seething, cold, and deliberate than that if he has a desire to inflict agony on you.
As for the "chatty" stuff... .I'd suspect he's wanting to keep the door open just a little, and became frightened his nasty behavior might be enough to send you reeling away from him.
I don't think any of this indicates he doesn't care, it's just that his care comes with conditions. Mainly, the condition is that you are required to eat whatever he dishes out, have no needs, no real emotional responses to his confusing behavior, and no mind of your own.
These are just guesses from the recently initiated.
