Worried and Exhausted

[Peacefully]

My 28 yr old daughter has had BPD for almost 9 years. She ran away from home when she was 19 to live with a 45 yr old in Iowa. That lasted 6 years when she broke up with boyfriend and ended up pregnant as a result of one night stand. She came back home and stayed until she was 8 1/2 months pregnant and took off with another guy in Wisconsin. This relationship goes south in less than a year, so she comes home with 10 month old grandson in tow. Two months later, she has what she calls a "date" with a much older man and second grandson is conceived. So during this time she is holding down a job and caring for son all the while living with us. I hear through the "grapevine" that she has struck up a relationship with a guy while at work. We have a discussion and are led to believe she is just friends. Fast forward, we go to Georgia to bring my mother in law back with us. So the night before we are to go home, I find out she has taken off with her two children. We suspect she is with her so-called friend. My first grandson was in the process of being screened for Autism. Her mothering skills are questionable and she uses her children as pawns. I am worried about my grandsons. Also, I bet she will be pregnant again. She refuses help.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[livednlearned]

Hi Peacefully,

It's so hard when there are grandchildren involved  and to stand by and feel so helpless, I can only imagine what it must be like.

Do you think she will stay in contact with you? I know this is hard, and can feel like a punch in the gut. Have you had any success with some of the communication skills recommended for BPD sufferers?

LnL

[Peacefully]

I apologize for not replying sooner. It has been over 2 weeks since we have spoken with my daughter and last seen our grandkids. I reported her and the grandkids as missing, plus DCF is involved. No one knows where she is.              She  literally left with clothes on her back along with her children. She bought a 200.00 double stroller, walker and other things for her children, all of this left behind. My oldest grandson was approved for speech therapy and occupational therapy. I am so angry that she totally threw away the chance for her son to get help. Yes, I feel to the point of disowning her if it weren't for my grandkids. She tramples on everyone.

[livednlearned]

Taking those steps (reporting her as missing) when there is mental illness and minor children involved is tough to do, and warranted

What happens now that this process is in play?

[Peacefully]

Well I have been told by DCF or law enforcement that if I hear from her to notify them. Basically it is a "BOLO" or be on the lookout. Not much can be done when you don't know where she is at.