adult daughter has pushed family away

[Pico96]

Hi.   This is my first post and I need knowledge and support in dealing with my adult daughter.   She has narcissistic borderline personality disorder but is in denial.    She has a husband who is the prime enabler and has pushed all loved ones away who have loved and nurtured her since she was born and now has allowed her deadbeat dad, who abandoned her at 4 yrs old back in her life after 35 yrs.   she also has surrounded herself with 'flying monkeys' on a smear campaign to destroy me.   
She has been seeing the same therapist for over 10 yrs and has progressively gotten worse instead of better.   In the past two weeks alone she has snubbed her 84 yr old grandmother who she once had a beautiful relationship with, and has denied me to see my two grandsons for no reason.
Anybody experience anything similar ?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Feeling Better]

Hi Pico96, welcome

 

Hi.   This is my first post and I need knowledge and support in dealing with my adult daughter.   She has narcissistic borderline personality disorder but is in denial. 

You are most definitely in the right place for knowledge and support, lots of parents here will understand what you are going through. As to the knowledge, there are lots of articles here to help you with that as well as tools to teach you new communication skills, these can be found to the right 

I suspect that my son has BPD traits, he is undiagnosed and in denial that there is anything wrong with him, preferring to believe that it is me, my husband and one of his sisters who are the problem, so I do understand what it is like when they are in denial, like your daughter.

It must be really frustrating for you to have her allow her “deadbeat dad” back into her life again while she has pushed away all the loving people who have cared for her since birth.

I am sorry to hear that in the past 2 weeks she has both snubbed her 84 year old grandmother and for no reason has stopped you seeing your two grandsons, it must be really difficult for you to deal with. Is she still maintaining contact with you? x 

[abcdefg1]

Hi Pico. Yes we have all been there and in my case I still am. My BPD daughter has now forbidden my husband and I to see our grandchildren, after many years of closeness. We think she is getting worse and worse since the divorce. She refuses to accept that she has BPD and since she ehrself is a social worker (and I shudder to think who she is 'helping' the rest of us have the problem, not her. We are devastated and I send you hugs bc I know how tou  gh this is.