If a pwBPD changes looks via surgery are they happy?

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

HI,

My exBPDgf  was pretty good looking to begin with and she 62, now she looks very stunning and you would guess early 40's, she has lots of money and spent it on multiple surgeries, and really flaunting it on the dating site.  At first I felt bad now I feel, it doesn't matter she was terribly abusive etc.  

So, my question is this.  :)oes this give them a permanent sense of satisfaction?  :)oes, looking like a model help their opinion of themselves.  She has money, super looks.  Should she be relatively happy or do they revert back to their former self.  I do know she denies history of events etc, as most do.  

Does anyone have any history with this?  Or as I heard, many are super hot, and still a tremendous pain, and cruel.  I know she hasn't held on to anyone since I left 18 months ago.

Thanks just curious, since I know money never seem to make her happy either.

[outside9x]

HI,

My exBPDgf  was pretty good looking to begin with and she 62, now she looks very stunning and you would guess early 40's, she has lots of money and spent it on multiple surgeries, and really flaunting it on the dating site.  At first I felt bad now I feel, it doesn't matter she was terribly abusive etc.  

So, my question is this.  :)oes this give them a permanent sense of satisfaction?  :)oes, looking like a model help their opinion of themselves.  She has money, super looks.  Should she be relatively happy or do they revert back to their former self.  I do know she denies history of events etc, as most do.  

Does anyone have any history with this?  Or as I heard, many are super hot, and still a tremendous pain, and cruel.  I know she hasn't held on to anyone since I left 18 months ago.

Thanks just curious, since I know money never seem to make her happy either.

[thatwasthat]

Mine was in her twenties and a bombshell.

Didn't matter. HATED herself.

[outside9x]

I think you right.  I think with mine, and being older though, this is power, but I think in the end especially once she grabs someone again it won't matter.  It's kinda like buying a new car, it's a temporary fix.  Nothing fixed inside.

She bust him up and be miserable. 

[thatwasthat]

Exactly.

Haha. You actually made a good point with the car example. Mine bought two within a year. Same story.

It makes them feel "new" for a very short amount of time, if at all.

Same with the looks. I think even while getting validated for their looks, they can never really shake the feeling of being ugly/gross etc whatever my ex thought of herself. They just manage to suppress it to a bearable amount while they are getting a new fix.

[aeoma]

My "ex" is good looking, thin and nice curves, and she had a boob job in her twenties... .and it was a good result. Nevertheless, the result is good only visually, I didn't like the feeling.

It didn't stop her to CONSTANTLY asking me what I thought about her. Every part of her body was subject to appreciation.

"- You told me you like my lips and nose, but you never said anything about my eyes.

- Yes, i like your eyes.

- You say that because I asked you, you didn't say it before, I don't trust you".

Please take a moment to appreciate the beautiful Double Bind +insecurity.  

I was her magic mirror as in Snow White.

[CareTaker]

So, my question is this.  Does this give them a permanent sense of satisfaction?  Does, looking like a model help their opinion of themselves

I think once you understand the disorder, you will answer you own question. My ex, at 34, believed she was the hottest model on earth. I had to take pics of her, where ever we went. She even went so far as to book her own photo sessions for herself. These pics all get put onto her FB page so others can tell her how beautiful she is. She also has a website for her "model agency" and her own fashion blog. Mostly just pics of herself, and in 2 years the model agency never got any bookings.

Now in the real world, she is only a call centre operator. She never has had any stable job, prior to this one. Only been working about 2 years now.

So my answer to your question. They will do anything to get attention just to convince themselves that they really are the best thing since sliced bread.