A moral dilemma.

[VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?"]

 My BPD boyfriend is sick and needs surgery. The illness has been hard on him so he has stepped up his verbally and emotionally abusive language. I thought it  was bad before but this is far worse. I want out so bad but I don't feel like I can turn my back on him when he is so sick. What do we do when it means saving ourselves or them?

[amIwrong]

 My BPD boyfriend is sick and needs surgery. The illness has been hard on him so he has stepped up his verbally and emotionally abusive language. I thought it  was bad before but this is far worse. I want out so bad but I don't feel like I can turn my back on him when he is so sick. What do we do when it means saving ourselves or them?

[Surnia]

amIwrong

So sorry to hear from your situation with your boyfriend! Many of us have a similar dilemma like you. No one deserve to be in a emotional and verbal abusive situation.

Are you familiar with the LESSONS from bpdfamily.com? If not, I would suggest you some reading BOUNDARIES: Upholding our values and independence.

Do you have a T or any support in your life, friends, family?

[Vindi]

YES, as surina said, check out the boundaries link. You don't have to do anything, you don't have to stay in the relationship cuz he has to have surgery.

Hold true to your boundaries, don't put up with the verbal/emotional abuse, you don't have to, you have choices!

keep posting here, it truly helps!

[Somewhere]

What do we do when it means saving ourselves or them?

Usually means you (we) are completely confused.

You Cannot "Save" him, anyway.

Soo.  Save yourself.  Only one you can help.

Send a "Get Well Soon" card, and get some distance.