why in the heck do we go back for more, but also how to get out before this s*** hits the fan?
I went back (fleetingly) as I'd honestly forgotten just how toxic he was as it had been a brief, long distance relationship years before. Somewhere in the back of my mind I clearly thought "Perhaps I wasn't very nice to him at the time as I wasn't in a good place." What became obvious during the recycle (supposedly as friends but he quickly pushed for more ) was that I would never have let it drag on for a few months the first time around if I
had been in a good place. So fast forward a few years and he contacts me apologising, and me liking to think the best of people assumes he's apologising for his behaviour at the last b/u. But no, it transpired he was apologising for recent behaviour via an email I didn't get due to him being blocked. I'm hopeful though that this time around he has realised I will definitely not enable him and I'm not worth pursuing, even as a friend. I hope for his sake that it's helped him to realise that his obsession with 'getting me back' over the past few years was pointless and he can move on, and I'm hopeful as he hasn't contacted me (that I know of) in the last four months, whereas he bombarded me for months following the first b/u.
It must be difficult for those of you who always have them on your radar due to having children together. Take care of yourself (and child) and listen to those in the same boat who have come through it and are staying above water. I do have a child with another who is most definitely disordered and I do remember that was very hard not to get dragged back in to (nearly 8yrs out of that one), and I had to learn to respond to nothing other than arrangements for our child and not taking the bait of negative/needy/emotional interactions. I would just ignore them completely and pretend they hadn't happened.