Doing so well this week then just found out my wife cheated on another person..

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

I was feeling very good this week... .bugger!

Probably just a vent, I already knew there was overlap with my replacement when my wife and I separated in March. Now I find out she likely cheated on me several days before going on a cruise with my friends... .no wonder she suddenly didn't want to come with us on this cruise!

This hasn't set me back like hearing about the overlap with the current replacement, I actually decided to get his mobile number and I called and confronted him about it. Caught him completely on the spot, he stalled, stammered and then would not confirm or deny this fact, told me to talk to my wife about it (because that would get me an honest answer). I told him no comment is basically a yes, if it didn't happen just say no. He could not say no.

I could do one of two things now. Curl into a ball, feel sorry for myself that I was betrayed again (seriously is there still actual room in my back for knives to slide in?).

The second thing is what I'll hopefully do today is, continue to go about my day, chalk this down as another reason why boundaries are so important when dating someone and remind myself that I have learned a very, very, very good lesson from all this mess. I wish the lesson came with a tad less pain, however I guess sometimes you just need to learn the hard way.

Support networks are vital in this stage. My first reaction was to break NC and send her an email simply saying "i know about (name)" we are in divorce proceedings, would be the WORST idea ever. My family talked me through the 20 minutes of anger. I feel better now.

Keep fighting the good fight. I have to believe some good comes from this (for all of us) even now at my lowest, I feel we can all achieve happiness if we continue to heal and gain knowledge, both of the disorder and of ourselves.

Thanks for reading.

Ahoy

[Ahoy]

I was feeling very good this week... .bugger!

Probably just a vent, I already knew there was overlap with my replacement when my wife and I separated in March. Now I find out she likely cheated on me several days before going on a cruise with my friends... .no wonder she suddenly didn't want to come with us on this cruise!

This hasn't set me back like hearing about the overlap with the current replacement, I actually decided to get his mobile number and I called and confronted him about it. Caught him completely on the spot, he stalled, stammered and then would not confirm or deny this fact, told me to talk to my wife about it (because that would get me an honest answer). I told him no comment is basically a yes, if it didn't happen just say no. He could not say no.

I could do one of two things now. Curl into a ball, feel sorry for myself that I was betrayed again (seriously is there still actual room in my back for knives to slide in?).

The second thing is what I'll hopefully do today is, continue to go about my day, chalk this down as another reason why boundaries are so important when dating someone and remind myself that I have learned a very, very, very good lesson from all this mess. I wish the lesson came with a tad less pain, however I guess sometimes you just need to learn the hard way.

Support networks are vital in this stage. My first reaction was to break NC and send her an email simply saying "i know about (name)" we are in divorce proceedings, would be the WORST idea ever. My family talked me through the 20 minutes of anger. I feel better now.

Keep fighting the good fight. I have to believe some good comes from this (for all of us) even now at my lowest, I feel we can all achieve happiness if we continue to heal and gain knowledge, both of the disorder and of ourselves.

Thanks for reading.

Ahoy