Dil with possible Bpd

[Dbrink]

Hi. Im D. This is my story : My son married his hs sweatheart and went into the AF. Had my grandson. When gs was 8-9 months, dil was diagnosed with cancer; she died when gs was 3.5 yrs old; son left AF and moved in with me. (I ended up divorced over this). I went through hell with my son (drinking, verbally abuse to me);  I raised my gs for 7.5 yrs; my son went from one woman to another;  he got a girl pregnant (didn’t marry her); my granddaughter was born; they broke up; fast forward; my son now receives disability from VA ( diagnosis PTSD) and finally moved out with gs; I did all shopping, cleaning for them (but at least he wasnt living in my house;  he met this girl; she moved in; they were married in less then a year; I was relieved that my son and gs had someone in their lives (Im very very tired by now); she was a little odd, immature, and controlling at first but I thought it would work out; I really tried to like her but after 2 yrs I was just able to tolerate her;  she got pregnant right away and delivered a girl; I was diagnosed with cancer 7 months ago and decided to quit smoking; (experiencing nicotine withdrawal and deal with a life threatening diagnosis); I cried all the time and was an emotional wreck; my son didn’t want me to tell gs (13 yrs old now) about diagnosis. I ended up telling him when he asked me what was wrong;  I just couldn’t lie to him;  my son called yelling at me; then I was told I could not contact my gs in anyway or there would be a restraining order issued;  I havent seen my gs in 6 months;  He was much more then just a gs, he was my son for 7.5years. My dil texted me that I am a joke of a grandmother, obsessed with my gs, and dont spend equal time with the granddaughters;   (verbally abusing me). I may have been disrespectful and rude at times, but I don’t deserve this. My son is backing her up. I am just broken hearted!  

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[FaithHopeLove]

Hello Dbrink. Welcome to the group. I am both happy to meet you and sad for what brings you here. My first thoughts reading your post is to put your health first. I am recovering from a major stroke myself while at the same time my drug addicted and drug dealing BPD son is going through the courts facing jail time. The best advice I have gotten is to push worry about his drama on hold and only focus on my recovery so I pass that on to you. Your gs knows you love him. So does your son. His marriage is his journey. Your health is yours.