Course of Treatment

[Crabbymom]

My 15 year old daughter, who we suspect has BPD, had completed an inpatient stay for substance abuse over the summer;  we recently discovered that she has been abusing again when she was hospitalized for expressing suicidal actions.  When we visited her in the hospital she told us that she starting using again because of our "family dynamics" - basically because we didn't give her all the freedom that she wanted  it was our fault.  We have since discovered that she has been stealing from us and lying to us for months;  we are frustrated and very angry.  Her psychiatrist is recommending PHP after her hospitalization, as her substance use needs to be brought under control before we can do anything else.  Any other suggestions for treatment options?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Swimmy55]

Welcome CrabbyMom,

There is a lot of good news here in that your daughter is getting necessary treatment .  In my opinion, sticking with what her psychiatrist recommends is the best option since he/ she has treated your daughter. It is also true that getting her clean is the first step to see fully what else ails her ( BPD, etc).   I would only add maybe her going to a teen NA ( Narcotics Anonymous) a free spiritually based 12 step program . 

It is also important to realize you both are as important as your daughter. You have every right to be hurt and angry with your daughter.  In order to deal with your hurt and anger, you need some self care and support yourselves.  Some of us go to our own therapists, some go to  nar- anon for families of substance abusers. 

One more thing- patience.  There will be a lot of 2 steps forward, one step back for your daughter, this is not going to be an easy, quick fix.