I don't get it... . her and I broke up 5 months ago and I know I don't want her or will have any kind of healthy relationship with her. Yet I can't stop thinking about her. It's like I'm addicted to her and the drama. I'm drawn to the rush of having these post break up arguments too. Maybe its the urge to get closure even though that probably isn't possible. I was thinking if she broke up with the guy after me I would get closure... . instead she got engaged to him within 4 months of dating/us being broke up.
I finally initiated NC for the first time a few days ago after she posted a picture of her and the guy on facebook and messaged me acting like nothing was wrong. This comes after 5 months of triangulating
(read definition)/making out with me even while she has been engaged the last month... . which I am not proud of. Whats awful is that I've seen this other side of her and it should be all the closure I need yet it isn't. It has left me with the only option I have left and its what I should have done from the beginning - NC. I don't think there is any other source of closure honestly.