My ex upwBPD who I was in a r/s with for 5 months, with NC from my side for 6 weeks now gives birth to a child (I did not agree upon) in 3 months time. I have grown to adapt to the situation, and even look forward to it though. I am having a lot of difficulty trying to move on from her though. At first because of the many attempts for her to contact me and now because how am I suppose to forget about her, when I will see her after she gives birth to my child. It feels like I even look forward to it. I have very strong feelings for her and she for me. I felt I had to end it at the time, due to all the accusations and no room for compromises. It just became too much. Honestly I wish we could work things out and don't feel we have tried that much. But at the same time I do not want to break the NC if things don't work out, for both our sakes.
I feel like waiting for her to give birth, where the contact would be necessary (if being able to wait that long). She is not knowing of how big a part I will play, with the child, or at all. So I am not sure if she expects to hear from me. She will ask for child support of course. I am not sure about her moving on (reg. supply) being pregnant. I have both felt that it would be a relief for me, knowing then what to do, but I can feel that I also fear it somehow. No doubt this woman left a tremendous impact on me. I seem unable to let her go. Probably because I know that I will see her again...
Hello and welcome to the forums. My mind is really split on what to say here because there's two completely different things going on at the same time. There's a broken relationship and your child is going to be born in three months.
Regardless whether the relationship works out long-term or not, this is not the time (in my opinion) to focus on NC. As a father you should want what's best for the baby, which right now means being supportive of the mother. Ignoring her until the baby is born, making her wonder if you'll be in the child's life or not, does not feel like the correct move. My BPD daughter is trying to adopt and her stress levels are through the roof- I can only imagine how your ex feels right now.
I would encourage you to reach out and talk about the pregnancy, to see if there's anything she needs and if she's receiving proper medical care. A child is precious and it's your child, so you'll have a relationship with this woman for the next 20+ years regardless. Even if the relationship can't work out, she needs you right now and should not go through this pregnancy alone.
