do the things they dont deal with build up and explode?

[trevjim]

If I understand correctly, pwBPD tend to move on quickly so they don't have to grieve the r/s,  twist the past to tell others, and also themselves, do shamefull things etc.

I know things like that, projection and splitting is coping mechanisms for them, but do the things they don't deal with and work through, ever get to the point where its too much and they breakdown/explode etc?

[Discarded26]

If I understand correctly, pwBPD tend to move on quickly so they don't have to grieve the r/s,  twist the past to tell others, and also themselves, do shamefull things etc.

I know things like that, projection and splitting is coping mechanisms for them, but do the things they don't deal with and work through, ever get to the point where its too much and they breakdown/explode etc?

I think they do, but then they go straight back to 'how they are'

So never really 'deal' with anything they do to people/themselves, they live in a fantasy land

[broken but not beaten]

My ex was unable to deal with me moving on and finding someone the first time she rejected me. She asked me back in a fashion and claimed to have been able to let the past go,I always said if she felt she wanted to talk I'd be happy to answer any questions she may had,she assured me she was ok and could deal with it,she did explode and make horrible accusations saying she couldn't cope with the feelings,told me to get out of her head,called me a nut job who passed on a sti(I never did) and proceeded with the most hurtful spiteful behaviour I've experienced,although her running off with another guy was 'just a mistake'

[GreenMango]

Just wondering why you are wondering?

[mango_flower]

Oh yes indeed.

I thought I had the perfect laid back girl who accepted all my little nuances - being messy,liking to lay in on a weekend day, my little OCD habits... .  

But after we'd split, this anger seemed to come out of nowhere and she threw it all back at me... .  made me feel like it was all a lie!

[atcrossroads]

Oh yes indeed.

I thought I had the perfect laid back girl who accepted all my little nuances - being messy,liking to lay in on a weekend day, my little OCD habits... .  

But after we'd split, this anger seemed to come out of nowhere and she threw it all back at me... .  made me feel like it was all a lie!

I VERY much relate to this!  My husband always acted very tolerant and forgiving of my flaws -- staying up late, sleeping in, messiness, etc.  However, these very traits would be viciously used against me in any conflict as evidence of what a bad person/wife I was.  And, yes, they were all thrown against me at the end too. 

[cal644]

I have definatly seen the not dealing with things building up until they explode.  My UPDW still has never forgiven me for an affair I had 22 years ago as a junior in highschool and throws that in my face.  That was 22 years ago and in highschool - most people could forget that and let it go - but she has held onto that all these years and can't forgive or forget.  They bottle up every little thing (at least mine did) until the bottle overflows and the bottle shatters and the hate comes spewing out.