OR, I hear you too. I realize that it is much easier for me to do the friends while breaking up thing long distance, it resolves itself into one, maybe a couple of calls a day. Which is far from the stresses and tensions of having to live with her. It leaves me plenty of time to deal with the reality of my CPTSD and examine the deep baggage I brought with me into the relationship. This is working that way, from the only point of view that really matters to me: 1 week no dysregulation
Talked her off the ledge a couple of times, but getting better at that too. Each time she invokes her self-awareness and with time I am hoping that she will learn to de-regulate herself. For me, the important thing is that she gets healthy. I can't possibly see the relationship as being more important than that. In fact, I wonder if we had reached the point of becoming each other's triggers.
Those tools really work Schaff. They may take years and lots of pain to acquire but they do. Keep us posted on how it is going. Are you managing to implement them?