Hi and welcome, Adora79 -- you're in the right place to talk through supporting your child in crisis. Glad you found us.
Let's get right to it -- check out this thread which has two links to discussions on residential programs plus one link to a review of Dr Blaise Aguirre's book on BPD in adolescents:
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=351811.0I believe Dr Aguirre works at McLean on the east coast, so if you're in NJ definitely contact them. Even if the program isn't a good fit or is full, you can ask "so where would you recommend for my child, given that X program in Utah was a failure -- we need a bed ASAP". My hope would be they'd understand the urgency and have some professional networking contacts with other programs.
It makes all the sense in the world that being in limbo is the worst when a child is suffering with BPD.
Let us know how else we can support you;
kells76