This boundary sounds like a good one to add... .I've repeatedly pointed out when she's "playing the omnipotent card"... .i.e. telling me what I think.
So dumb question... .with this as a boundary how do you actually enforce it... .Kind of like a 3 strike rule?
Do you state it once as you're walking out the door? Do you state it once... .second time remove yourself? If she makes the same type of statement twice in 5 minutes... .then remove myself?
No, not three strikes. If you are 100% consistent, you get much better results--she will realize that you mean it and believe you much faster.
The boundary is that you will not participate in any discussion, conversation, argument, or fight where you are being told what you are feeling or thinking. [If she ASKS what you are thinking or feeling, that is a different thing entirely. There may be times you don't care to answer, but there will be many times where it is good and healthy to discuss this.]
You may need to give her a bit of a longer lecture or statement about why this just doesn't work for you, but that isn't really part of the boundary enforcement... .which goes like this:
Stage 1: She says something about what you are thinking. You state the boundary verbally. Long or short version as seems to fit.
(If she stops that line of discussion, excellent, you are done. If not, you need to take it to the next level... .this follows throughout between every step.)
Stage 2: She comes back to it. You end the conversation. If on the phone, say goodbye. If in person, leave the room. (No need for further explanation on your part as to why. You already told her)
Stage 3: She follows you to another room and keeps talking about what you are thinking. This time, leave the house for a bit. (Not less than 20 minutes) Doesn't matter what you do or where you go, just get farther away from her.
As you become consistent, stage 1 may be all you need, and even that will be needed less often. Initially she may escalate farther, and there are additional steps you can take if needed... .If you need more levels of this, ask.
