I’m having trouble moving on from a short but intense relationship that ended a year ago. I very quickly fell in love with someone who in retrospect exhibited a variety of highly unstable personality traits. I’m having trouble letting go of the idea of them as a loving person who wanted to be with me and accepting the reality of what happened. They also blamed a lot of their impulsive and destructive behavior on me, saying “they weren’t usually like this,” they “worried about me
PLEASE READing with them,” “I wouldn’t know if I was,” when I tried to assert that my intentions were neutral or good, etc. though I know enough of their life history to know their behavior was not a result of me being evil or manipulative, but more a result of me being a present and loving partner who is used to co-expressing and mutual accountability in relationships, I struggle to let go of the shame. I feel somewhat limited in life, like I’m psychically avoiding them. They live in a a different city and I fret about someday going there, even though it is a city I love and maybe even want to move to. I want to detach my heart from all this. There has been a lot of healing but I’m not where I want to be and I’m struggling to see what’s next.