Crazy making

[TD131]

I just took three online tests for BPD and on all of them I received the result of "unlikely". My BPD mother is insisting I have it, and I disagree, I keep trying to show her I don't, I have explained that my therapist doesn't think I have it, and I try so hard to provide evidence for her. The reason I try so hard in convincing her is because she tells other people all over town and within my family that I have it and it is defamation and also jeopardizes my credibility as a mother. It is infuriating and sick. She is adamant about saying I have it. She dislikes her own diagnosis and stops at nothing to bring me down. What can I do? I am attempting no contact, but what I fear is that she will continue to ruin my name and share secrets about me that would injure me further. I am a very stable person but I do have neurotic tendencies at times, nothing like BPD, but my interactions with her can be explosive because of her stopping at nothing to hurt me. She makes me feel unstable and crazy and I feel like I have to try so hard to convince her I'm not. Now everyone in my family is "concerned" about me and I just want to scream. I don't think there is anything wrong with me besides having so much anger toward her. What do I do? What can I do to stop this pain of having such a twisted, twisted witch of a mother? It's disgusting. Purely disgusting.

[bigblue]

I can somewhat relate to your situation. The gaslighting from a pwBPD is unbearable! My Mother and dBPD sister have accused me of being NPD, BPD, and every other brand of crazy inbetween.

I am also financially tied to my Mother who only brings about anger and rage feelings from me on an almost daily basis. I sometimes feel crazy just trying to explain normal everyday things to the Mother. It is impossible to communicate with her on any level.

I am in my early 30's and working full time on my master's degree. I live with the witch because I can't find a job to support myself. I've moved too many times recently to have any close friends or even the possibility of a romantic relationship. It's just me and Mother. Mother has my dBPD sister set up in her own house on the other side of the country, for now.

I hope, that knowing you are not alone, gives you some comfort.

Also, if you think you may have BPD... .that means you don't. From my experience, BPD's never think there is anything wrong with them.