Hi myselfandI,
That's a rough weekend! I'm sorry that you're going through a difficult time. I understand how it feels like an emotional rollercoaster when our pwBPD moods rapidly change and we're confused with what to do. On one hand, the r/s is toxic and on the other hand it's heart breaking to watch our pwBPD struggle.
I recall when I was going through a rough path with my ex wife and I told her that I think that we need to live separately for awhile until we can figure things out. We were in a restaurant and she broke down crying, I just felt so sorry for her and I changed my mind about separating. I know that it's not easy, there are no easy answers, myselfandI, but you couldn't continue with the toxicity for a reason. Has he made an effort to go therapy?