Words of Encouragement?

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

Hey Guys,

So I'm hoping someone can tell me there's a light at the end of the tunnel... . 

Very long story short - I eloped with an uBPD.  All the usual stuff, abuse, false accusations, severe up and down, etc.  She physically abused me, then had me arrested for DV and moved 3500 miles away to another country (where I'm from the laws are much stricter on DV.  She just had to make the claim with no evidence and I was ducked).  At her request I attempted to reconcile (Mother of my unborn child... .), which quickly followed with the same patterns of abuse, then she filed for divorce secretly and has been dragging me through the blood diamond indust... .i mean family court system.

2 years later, the court finally did something smart and gave me 100% temporary custody and ordered psych evals after she showed up to trial high on prescription pills.  I had tons of evidence (hospital records, emails from her, etc.) showing many different aspects of severe issues with her - and it literally took her coming to court high before they did anything. 

Here's the major problem - I don't live here, I'm in a different country on a visa.  I own a small company back at home, i've never paid myself more than $30,000/year.  Her lawyer showed up to the first hearing with a forensic accountant who inflated my income to $200,000.  We've now got it down to $75,000 without prejuduce, and I've got a new round of financial statements coming in that will show I make $30,000/year and the other lawyer/accountant should not be able to manipulate them.

Her lawyer is going for legal fees of which they've amassed more than $100,000.  He knows there's no chance she can pay it as she's a 36 year old "model"... . 

This nightmare has cost my family and I over $150,000 so far.  I was married for 43 days.  I've been trying to do what's right for my son, but I can't stay here forever.  I have no friends/family here and no income.

Every time we take 1 step forward, her lawyer comes up with some bs objection and we take 2 steps back... .  Her lawyer is the worst example of family law out there (not just my thoughts, that's his reputation in this area). 

Why do they keep giving this deranged sociopath/psychopath more and more and more and more chances?  I don't understand how this system in all of its "wisdom" thinks it's smart to take 2 parents, one of which is severely troubled and the other which is healthy and trying to do the right thing, and completely destroy (financially and emotionally) both of them... .  How is any of this in the best interest of the child?  It seems to me that this system is in the best interest of the lawyers, and if you have enough scratch to play, then they put the child somewhere up there on the totem pole of importance.

My sons mother refuses to compromise on anything.  She is currently (supposed) to have supervised visitation (she couldn't afford a supervisor so they appointed her Father - who stopped showing up) and she is drug tested frequently, yet she is still firmly fighting for sole custody with 100% timesharing.  They're forcing us to do mediation, which I have to pay the majority share of.  I've also had to pay the majority share of all costs, including the GAL bill which is at roughly $30,000.  So essentially the court has given this lunatic no motivation to stop this insanity because it's not costing her anything. 

Will this ever end?  At what point to I make a break for it?  I'm not going to spend the next 20 years of my life stuck in this insanity.

Duck Borderline Personality Disorders... .we should ship them all off to an island run by Donald Trump. 

[Duck_Borders]

Hey Guys,

So I'm hoping someone can tell me there's a light at the end of the tunnel... . 

Very long story short - I eloped with an uBPD.  All the usual stuff, abuse, false accusations, severe up and down, etc.  She physically abused me, then had me arrested for DV and moved 3500 miles away to another country (where I'm from the laws are much stricter on DV.  She just had to make the claim with no evidence and I was ducked).  At her request I attempted to reconcile (Mother of my unborn child... .), which quickly followed with the same patterns of abuse, then she filed for divorce secretly and has been dragging me through the blood diamond indust... .i mean family court system.

2 years later, the court finally did something smart and gave me 100% temporary custody and ordered psych evals after she showed up to trial high on prescription pills.  I had tons of evidence (hospital records, emails from her, etc.) showing many different aspects of severe issues with her - and it literally took her coming to court high before they did anything. 

Here's the major problem - I don't live here, I'm in a different country on a visa.  I own a small company back at home, i've never paid myself more than $30,000/year.  Her lawyer showed up to the first hearing with a forensic accountant who inflated my income to $200,000.  We've now got it down to $75,000 without prejuduce, and I've got a new round of financial statements coming in that will show I make $30,000/year and the other lawyer/accountant should not be able to manipulate them.

Her lawyer is going for legal fees of which they've amassed more than $100,000.  He knows there's no chance she can pay it as she's a 36 year old "model"... . 

This nightmare has cost my family and I over $150,000 so far.  I was married for 43 days.  I've been trying to do what's right for my son, but I can't stay here forever.  I have no friends/family here and no income.

Every time we take 1 step forward, her lawyer comes up with some bs objection and we take 2 steps back... .  Her lawyer is the worst example of family law out there (not just my thoughts, that's his reputation in this area). 

Why do they keep giving this deranged sociopath/psychopath more and more and more and more chances?  I don't understand how this system in all of its "wisdom" thinks it's smart to take 2 parents, one of which is severely troubled and the other which is healthy and trying to do the right thing, and completely destroy (financially and emotionally) both of them... .  How is any of this in the best interest of the child?  It seems to me that this system is in the best interest of the lawyers, and if you have enough scratch to play, then they put the child somewhere up there on the totem pole of importance.

My sons mother refuses to compromise on anything.  She is currently (supposed) to have supervised visitation (she couldn't afford a supervisor so they appointed her Father - who stopped showing up) and she is drug tested frequently, yet she is still firmly fighting for sole custody with 100% timesharing.  They're forcing us to do mediation, which I have to pay the majority share of.  I've also had to pay the majority share of all costs, including the GAL bill which is at roughly $30,000.  So essentially the court has given this lunatic no motivation to stop this insanity because it's not costing her anything. 

Will this ever end?  At what point to I make a break for it?  I'm not going to spend the next 20 years of my life stuck in this insanity.

Duck Borderline Personality Disorders... .we should ship them all off to an island run by Donald Trump. 

[Duck_Borders]

Also - the psych evals showed me as normal and her as some type of disorder.  They didn't use the word Borderline, but it was very close to it, including the words "anti social", "cognitive distortions", "not credible", etc. 

Problem is her lawyer stalled the psych evals (which I paid for) being submitted as evidence.  Now he's objecting to the evaluator (who is renowned as the best guy in town). 

Her lawyer has a reputation for representing troubled Mothers and dragging out cases so long that the other side has no choice but to withdraw.