keep messaging

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

Hello all. I keep messaging my ex. It's insane. And no matter what she replies or doesn't reply it's not enough. I know I should stop but can't seem to. There are a million questions going through my head. Within weeks she replaced our dog so most certainly has replaced me although she denies it. I don't know what to do.

[Venny]

Hello all. I keep messaging my ex. It's insane. And no matter what she replies or doesn't reply it's not enough. I know I should stop but can't seem to. There are a million questions going through my head. Within weeks she replaced our dog so most certainly has replaced me although she denies it. I don't know what to do.

[bunny4523]

Hi Venny,

Maybe take a deep breath and give yourself the freedom to change your mind and get back with her. (atleast just in your head)   Sometimes because we tell ourselves we "shouldn't" we get caught up in feeling like we "can't" which makes us crazy.  Give yourself a minute to think about getting back in contact with her and play out what has happened in the past when you do that.  Feel the confusion, the hurt, the pain, all your thoughts in your head spinning... .

Then decide, just for today, that you don't want that.  Each morning, wake up and think about it and decide just for today, I'm not going to get in contact with her.  Hopefully that helps slow you down until you can get balanced again.

wishing you the best,

Bunny

[Mutt]

Hi Venny,

I can see how distressing that would feel to message an ex and have a hard time with stopping ourselves. You probably have a lot on your mind? It's therapeutic to write, you could write down what your feeling and challenge your thought with realistic thinking. You could track what you have written down and see if there's a patterns there.

What do you like to do for self care? I like exercise and lifting weights. If I feel stressed then I like to go for a walk or go to the gym and it helps balance my thoughts and I feel better. You could try going for a walk when you feel like messaging your ex.

[Raspberry]

Hi Venny,

Maybe take a deep breath and give yourself the freedom to change your mind and get back with her. (atleast just in your head)   Sometimes because we tell ourselves we "shouldn't" we get caught up in feeling like we "can't" which makes us crazy.  Give yourself a minute to think about getting back in contact with her and play out what has happened in the past when you do that.  Feel the confusion, the hurt, the pain, all your thoughts in your head spinning... .

Then decide, just for today, that you don't want that.  Each morning, wake up and think about it and decide just for today, I'm not going to get in contact with her.  Hopefully that helps slow you down until you can get balanced again.

This is AMAZING advice! I've saved this for myself, thank you x