I have a tendency to share a lot of the problems with my friends as a way to cope with it.
i think that if theres something youre going about in a less than stellar way, it would be how you are utilizing support.
experts will tell you that for these relationships, having a strong support system is really key.
yet, in 3 years, youve made only 3 posts, and not engaged the support youve gotten.
if i were you, i would want to turn that around. i couldnt have made it without this place, when i was going through it.
and if you think theres any chance (even 5%) of reconciling the relationship, i would be posting on the Bettering board, learning the tools, and working with others to come up with a very different game plan. something in the relationship is broken, and with each makeup/breakup cycle, it breaks a little more. it doesnt make any sense to return to the relationship without a very different idea of how its going to look.
it also doesnt make sense to lean on her sister or the mutual friend with details. those things are likely to get back to her, you know how she feels about it; no need to beat yourself up for it, just make it a point to build a support system you can rely on consistently and objectively, that isnt compromised. you dont have to do this alone.