How common?

[MilfordGranger]

How common is it for a swBPD to not just threaten divorce or leave, but to tell you just to file or even go so far as contacting an attorney?  This the most things have ever escalated and I’m trying to sort it out. Thanks.

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PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[khibomsis]

Dear Milford,  and welcome to the family! It must be extremely distressing to be on the receiving end of such words!
How long have the two of you been together? The answer to your question is: fairly often, once the relationship is out of the mirroring stage. Often life stresses spark dysregulations and the pwBPD will feel overwhelmed and push the partner away.
You know your partner has BPD?Is there a diagnosis? All these things play a role in deciding how seriously to take it. Do not be surprised if your partner wakes up the next day and carries on as if nothing has happened. It is very common.  The trick is then for you to process your posttraumatic stress disorder from the dysregulations. It takes time yet can be done.
Do let us know how it is going! And take care.

[maxsterling]

My W has never suggested that I go find a lawyer.  She always threatens to go to a lawyer.  As to how often?  W goes through periods where she may threaten this every other day for a few weeks.  Then nothing for a few months.

Going to a L and not telling her about it may be a good idea, just so that you know the laws/procedures in your jurisdiction. 

[MilfordGranger]

I’m pretty certain if the diagnosis. It is textbook of many of the stories I’ve seen on here and elsewhere. I know there is PTSD and some other psych history, but don’t know a lot of details. I honestly never pried because there’s a lot of trauma history too.