.
Your MC doesn't want to waste any more of your time and money. She has decided that MC is not going to be helpful for the two of you. For any therapy to work, the person has to be honest, capable of self reflection and willing to let someone advise them. I think you know this is not your wife.
Hey Max,
This is the crux of my idea/recommendation. I would like you to hear this directly from your wife's therapist and/or your wife. Explicitly. No more beating about the bush.
We are working on X in therapy, it's likely that we see Y change over the next coming period of time. It would be helpful if you would do A, when she does B while at home...a focus point of our therapy is that she does C instead of B. However, it's likely that she will do B from time to time, even with our best efforts.
Something like that is what I hope you hear and honestly, I think it's "as least as likely as not"...given your wife's openness.
If you are explicitly asking for this and your wife's T and/or your wife are explicitly saying no, that's still useful information for you (even though incredibly disappointing)
You very well may decide to "stay", even with bad news from her T and or refusal to cooperate. But you will know..explicitly...no assumptions.
Plus...let's assume you stay, let's assume you are not welcome with her therapy and let's assume a year from now she wants to try (fill in blank) because it will solve all your r/s problems. You will have a built in way to quickly understand her commitment to looking at herself...or to find out if she wants to fix Max..to fix herself.
Thoughts?
Best,
FF