Nearly one year after I left BPDh, he still cant accept it

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

Hello bpdfamily members, I have been quiet but havent forgotten how you helped me deal with leaving last year... . I havent moved on a very long way.

Am still living in the small rented appt I moved to... . the kids are flitting between us, he has not accepted the separation so will not even acknowledge my requests to find a schedule for the kids... . I have been dating quite furiously, have had a few brief affairs, set up my own business which helped me feel strong.

He took the kids on holiday, then I took them to see my family. We got back yesterday. I brought them to their dads house. He cooked dinner and let off fiworks and begged me to come back. We had the first conversation where I said it had been so hard to live with him... . that I didnt think more family counselling would help us, he had to get help himself and confront what had led to our family apart.

There cant be many women who would resist... . he is a good looking man, kind and thoughtful when he is not showing signs of craziness! Our family home where he still lives is idyllic, our children would love me to go back. But I felt strong last night because I need to follow my heart, if I am not sure I love him anymore how could I make a pretence of being a family again, but it is very hard leaving him so sad and walking away. I should go back and read my posts since October last year to remind me of his other "side".

Have any of you got stories of having to leave, and how you struggle with not going back? Putting your own sanity before the children. It seems I have to be hard and cold for him to get the message... . And that in the end will probably make him abusive again.

Have a good day!

[Cmjo]

Hello bpdfamily members, I have been quiet but havent forgotten how you helped me deal with leaving last year... . I havent moved on a very long way.

Am still living in the small rented appt I moved to... . the kids are flitting between us, he has not accepted the separation so will not even acknowledge my requests to find a schedule for the kids... . I have been dating quite furiously, have had a few brief affairs, set up my own business which helped me feel strong.

He took the kids on holiday, then I took them to see my family. We got back yesterday. I brought them to their dads house. He cooked dinner and let off fiworks and begged me to come back. We had the first conversation where I said it had been so hard to live with him... . that I didnt think more family counselling would help us, he had to get help himself and confront what had led to our family apart.

There cant be many women who would resist... . he is a good looking man, kind and thoughtful when he is not showing signs of craziness! Our family home where he still lives is idyllic, our children would love me to go back. But I felt strong last night because I need to follow my heart, if I am not sure I love him anymore how could I make a pretence of being a family again, but it is very hard leaving him so sad and walking away. I should go back and read my posts since October last year to remind me of his other "side".

Have any of you got stories of having to leave, and how you struggle with not going back? Putting your own sanity before the children. It seems I have to be hard and cold for him to get the message... . And that in the end will probably make him abusive again.

Have a good day!