Their suicide threats and/or attempts

[WindofChange]

How many of you have dealt with this? I was thinking today of all the times my exBPDbf (and former fiancé) threatened suicide (or did things that could have harmed him or others) during our years together, and how traumatizing it was. Now that we aren't together, I find myself worrying about him and wondering if he's okay and what he might do. Feeling the worry and anxiety now made me reflect on the past events, and how very exhausting it is. I thought we could share and talk about our experiences as a way to work through them.
To start, my ex:
-Took a bunch of Ativan and drove around (4-5 times)
-Called me once and said he was standing on a bridge ready to jump (other times, left the apartment and said that's where he might go).
-Held a knife to his wrist while demanding I admit to something I didn't do (then locked himself in the bathroom with the knife and turned on the shower)
-Held a bottle of pills threatening to take them all because I did something that upset him
-Called me once while driving around after an argument and conversationally discussed the fact that he'd read about killing himself with helium and a plastic bag, but was having trouble finding a place that sold helium
-Showed me a note he had written to his daughter to give to her after he was dead
-Left apartment after getting angry and upset over something minor and said he was going to liquor store to buy a bottle of booze and then was going to drink it and take all his muscle relaxants
-Last year (after I had moved out but we were still seeing each other) texted and called while I was at a family event accusing me of being with another man. When I responded once and then ignored him, called the next day crying and saying, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," while sounding groggy. Admitted he had taken a bunch of pills. I called 911 for this and he was taken to the hospital and they pumped his stomach (supposedly, although he was released at the end of the day, so I really don't know what all he took or what exactly happened, as I can't imagine they would have released him if they thought he'd attempted to kill himself).

-Also, for a while I was looking at the browser history on our computer when we still lived together, and I found that he had looked up whether or not to leave a suicide note, which was best.
-Oh, and he also had episodes of banging his head against the wall (or roof of car, etc) when very upset. So much so over the years that now he has a hard bump on his forehead from it. I wonder if he's caused himself brain trauma as well.

Thinking through these things, I found myself feeling completely exhausted and overwhelmed with the memories. I'm sure I'm not the only one.
I'm curious to know how others have dealt with these scenarios. Does anyone want to share?

[Lucky Jim]

Hey WofC, Yes, it's all quite familiar to me.  My BPDxW held a knife to her throat, razor blade to her wrist, bottle of pills in hand, hung off a high platform by her fingertips, etc.  It was incredibly stressful and makes me shudder just thinking about it.  I thought she was crying wolf, yet I also knew that a small percentage of those with BPD actually carry it out.  Looking back, I would say that I lacked the experience or training to deal with suicide threats.  My only suggestion is for you to discuss with a professional and try to get professional help for him.

LuckyJim

[WindofChange]

Thanks, Lucky Jim. He's not suicidal now, as far as I know. It's just that the worry becomes a habit, and something that is always in the back of my mind. I just was curious how many others had experienced this, and how they dealt with it. But it could be that it's something that is too traumatic for people to want to discuss, and I get that.

[KoRnyRocks]

Yea I know this very well. My ex had threaten to kill my son in order for me to feel the pain she did. I have at least struggled with her in the kitchen where she 5-6 times tried to cut herself with knifes, luckily I often got them from her.
I have received at least 10 or more text messages of her telling me she would kill herself if I didn’t do what she wanted or took her back. She was in hospital once for taking too many pills

[MrRight]

The whole reason I'm in this mess (18 years now) is I took her suicide threats seriously.

what a fool I was.