Whats going on: I'm dating a non, my ex is dating younger woman

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

Hi family,

Posting here has helped me beyond measure.

I feel like i am a different person, one who is unaffected by my past.  It is like my past has no bearing on me.  Each person i meet, is a new experience.  It feels incredibly weird, its a place of neutrality.  Its a place of affirmation.  I have never been here before.

With gratitude,  j

[juju2]

Hi family,

Posting here has helped me beyond measure.

I feel like i am a different person, one who is unaffected by my past.  It is like my past has no bearing on me.  Each person i meet, is a new experience.  It feels incredibly weird, its a place of neutrality.  Its a place of affirmation.  I have never been here before.

With gratitude,  j

[juju2]

So my BPD s.o   is w someone the age of his dtr, he wants to recapture lost youth.  I feel like, its ok, its his path.  I am trying to not take it personal.  When he was in the hosp, it looked like no one visited him.

So, he is on a different path.  My G-d bless. 

[juju2]

Hi family,

First off.  I am thankful for the support i get here.

I met someone new, a non, he is great, i am going slow.  Got a text, he is unavailable  something from his past came up, he has to decide what to do, may have to go to his hometown.  So.  
My s.o., i found out is dating someone 24 yrs younger, same age as his dtr.  I am just letting all of this be.  Who i am is special in my Higher Power's sight.  I am just going one day, one hour, one minute at a time.  Nothing makes sense right now.  Its o.k.

Thank you for reading this.  J

[Cromwell]

Hi Juju2

There are times during the r/s that I just started to wait for whatever the next "surprise" would be or revelation.

Then again, to keep it in context, my life has been punctuated a lot by "shock" where things have happened that were entirely unexpected, and it is that shock which is the first thing that needs to get over before some proper understanding takes place. What id not learned until now is what you talk about "acceptance" in the absence of having that understanding yet - or if ever. There is a lot of stuff that ive learned to accept I will not likely ever understand what ive been through but acceptance has became such a powerful tool towards progressing and not faltering over it.

In the midst of all this, youve met someone new, I hope it works out well. I am also thankful for the support here, I have seen it as become far more than I expected when I first found it as a safe haven during the relationship, all the way through to where I am now, being able to learn from others who have went through similar, has given a great deal of experience. I never felt anywhere near the time that I could have ever said that id get to the point of being a stronger person more so than even before I met my ex. So there is sometimes a good outcome even when the paths we have went down have appeared to otherwise have involved a lot of negative and hurtful encounters.

I got through years of sustained problems by living towards what you just said; one hour at a time, change that perspective, it is excellent advice and so easy to do.

[gotbushels]

... .  Nothing makes sense right now.  Its o.k.

It's good that nonsense feels okay to you. I envy your momentary zen.   Jokes aside, can you be specific on what doesn't make sense? 

Oh and way to go on those dates juju2.   

[juju2]

Hi Got,

What doesnt make sense is he dropped me, our r/s like a hot potato.

He isnt doing his main work, when we met, it was God, a.a., then family.  And i accepted that.
He has pretty much curtailed all leadership that he so enjoyed in a.a.  he has almost two decades.

He isnt seeing his dtr.  She just had a baby.  When i met him, eleven years ago, his kids meant everything to him. 

Anyway, nothing makes sense re: him.

Its concerning.  I care about him deeply.  j

[Lady Itone]

He isnt doing his main work, when we met, it was God, a.a., then family.  And i accepted that.
He has pretty much curtailed all leadership that he so enjoyed in a.a.  he has almost two decades.

He isnt seeing his dtr.  She just had a baby.  When i met him, eleven years ago, his kids meant everything to him. 

A mid-life crises, BPD style?

I know after I reached my 40's, I began to drastically reshift my priorities. I wanted to shed responsibilities, live a more hedonistic life. Suddenly, I changed my mind about having kids, about being married to my husband, about my career path.