Mirroring

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Hello all,

I’m very confused as to why a man with BPD mirrors my interest? We never dated but I had no clue where else to put this post? :/ Anyway, for example I love God & nature so I usually follow/share on my story a lot of accounts pertaining to that on my instagram. All of a sudden, I’d receive a follow or a message from accounts of my interest that were obviously made by him. He has made multiple and is still active with many of them today. Due to his inappropriate behavior, (showing up where I was unannounced, driving by my house, using fake accounts to watch/message/follow me or my instagram followers etc) I had to block him on all platforms. This didn’t stop him from still “interacting” with me in some way. Like I said, we never dated but I don’t understand how he became so attached when we barely ever talked before? Only thing was, I had a crush on him but I can’t really say the same for him due to us never speaking on our feelings towards one another. Currently, I’ve been in no contact with him for almost 3 months. By that I mean, no reactions to his behavior etc. but it seems the more I ignore him, the more he wants my attention in some way. He recently drove by my house & has been attempting to log into my work pay account due to him seeing a new car on my driveway… really wish he’d reach out to a therapist for help one day.

[Gemma92]

Hello all,

I’m very confused as to why a man with BPD mirrors my interest? We never dated but I had no clue where else to put this post? :/ Anyway, for example I love God & nature so I usually follow/share on my story a lot of accounts pertaining to that on my instagram. All of a sudden, I’d receive a follow or a message from accounts of my interest that were obviously made by him. He has made multiple and is still active with many of them today. Due to his inappropriate behavior, (showing up where I was unannounced, driving by my house, using fake accounts to watch/message/follow me or my instagram followers etc) I had to block him on all platforms. This didn’t stop him from still “interacting” with me in some way. Like I said, we never dated but I don’t understand how he became so attached when we barely ever talked before? Only thing was, I had a crush on him but I can’t really say the same for him due to us never speaking on our feelings towards one another. Currently, I’ve been in no contact with him for almost 3 months. By that I mean, no reactions to his behavior etc. but it seems the more I ignore him, the more he wants my attention in some way. He recently drove by my house & has been attempting to log into my work pay account due to him seeing a new car on my driveway… really wish he’d reach out to a therapist for help one day.

[Turkish]

Gemma92,

How could you tell that he tried to log into your work pay account?

I read your previous posts, and he's still being very weird and crossing all sorts of social boundaries despite the cops? These are major  and these aren't normal, healthy behaviors. Do you have a solid support system who knows what's going on? I'm concerned for your safety.

As for mirroring, this can help explain it.

BEHAVIORS: Mirroring

[Gemma92]

Hi Turkish,

thank you for taking the time to reply. I found out he was trying to log into my payroll account due to constantly receiving emails saying: “We just received a notification that you would like to change your password, please ignore if not.” I have gotten these emails a handful of times recently. I have individuals who I trust that know what is going on, I’ve been ignoring him and although it has gotten way “better” than what I use to go through with him, he’s still exhibiting those toxic inappropriate behaviors even after I called the cops and let him know he has to seek therapy/get help. It seems that his symptoms are only extreme with me. Around his friends he’s seems perfectly fine but then again, I could be wrong. It’s exhausting but like I mentioned before, his behavior “improved” a bit compared to what I use to go through with him. 

Thank you for being concerned, I’m ok & safe & thank you for the “mirroring” link. <3

[Turkish]

Whether narc or BPD, who knows? Both are empty selves, the narcissist inflated, and the BPD a deflated false self. Please take seriously a safety plan.

https://bpdfamily.com/pdfs/safety-first-dv-1.pdf

I'd also not continue to ask him to seek help. You said it once, that's good enough. Ball's in his court, not yours.