The cycle.

[losingconfidence]

I just don't get it.

One minute, my mother is treating me like cr*p. The next minute, she's apologizing and telling me I'm the most important thing in the world to her and blah blah blah blah. Is that how BPD people usually act? I just don't know what to think.

[Sitara]

Yes.  With mine, things would built up to a big giant argument, and afterwards she'd temper her behavior to the extreme (not talking much, low contact with me, acting very cold).  Then she'd come back into my life, usually by a situation like a holiday where we'd have to deal with each other, act like nothing ever happened, and it would all start over again. 

[Bracken]

Yes - they have incredible mood swings.

My mother NEVER apologized.

Even after 10 years of complete NC, when she emailed to suggest a "reunion", the most she would say is that she was prepared to FORGIVE me for all the horrible things that she felt I had done since I was a toddler.

But I can understand that getting constant, meaningless apologies would be very crazy-making.

[losingconfidence]

Bracken - Hah, I know what you mean about forgiveness for stuff you did as a toddler. My mother is still on about stuff I did in my diaper "just to upset her."

[Alastor]

I guess this is simple "splitting". They see us as all bad or all good, no in-between, and seem to alternate between the two versions at will.

My BPDmom liked to either tell people how proud she was of me or tell them made-up stories about what an awful person I was. I could image some people must have thought that she had two sons 

There's a classic BPD book titled "I hate you, don't leave me" that catches nicely this theme Worth a read in any case.