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Skills we were never taught
98
A 3 Minute Lesson
on Ending Conflict
Communication Skills-
Don't Be Invalidating
Listen with Empathy -
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Setting Boundaries
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Author Topic: “Please don’t message me again” Not sure what to do next  (Read 623 times)
Unit667

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 7


« on: April 13, 2018, 05:06:27 AM »

So long story short, my ex began giving me the silent treatment out of nowhere while we were just casually texting eachother and I began trying to go NC for about a week, I ended up breaking NC and sent her a long apology basically apologizing for everything I believe she could have perceived as "wrong" during our relationship and ended it by reiterating that if she ever needed to talk to anyone I would be there for her and got no reply as I was expecting. After this I fully committed to NC and ended up doing something on social media that I knew would provoke a response from her, in response to this she blocked me on almost everything I have connected to her except one of her private accounts. As much as I didnt want this to bother me, I ended up messaging her on this private account telling her I was worried and wanted to make sure she was all right and finally got a response of "Im alright, please dont message me again". My question is do I respect her wishes and hope that she reaches out someday, or do I try to reach out again in vain with the hope that something I say may paint me white? I want to believe she still cares about me due to the fact that what I did on social media provoked such a massive response from her considering she hasnt spoken to me for two weeks before this but now I feel even more lost then I did before sadly

Any response is greatly appreciated  Smiling (click to insert in post) thank you all so much this site has been extremely helpful with this whole situation

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Panda39
********
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner’s ex
Relationship status: SO and I have been together 9 years and have just moved in together this summer.
Posts: 3462



« Reply #1 on: April 13, 2018, 06:47:00 AM »

Unit667,

I know it's hard when you care for someone and want to be with them and you get the silent treatment, it's extremely painful and hard not to reach out.

Your ex has asked for what she wants and I would respect her wishes.  She may or may not reach out to you later, (you can't control what she does, it is up to her) but in the meantime try and focus on you and taking care of you.

What are some things you like to spend time doing? 

Panda39
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"Have you ever looked fear in the face and just said, I just don't care" -Pink
Tattered Heart
Retired Staff
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 1943



« Reply #2 on: April 13, 2018, 09:16:29 AM »

finally got a response of "Im alright, please dont message me again". My question is do I respect her wishes and hope that she reaches out someday, or do I try to reach out again in vain with the hope that something I say may paint me white?


That's tough. Sorry you are going through this. What did you do on SM that caused such a strong response from her?

She has asked you not to contact her. Chasing after her after she has been clear about what she wants will cause her to run further away. Respect her wishes. In time she may change her mind. She may not. What are you doing for yourself to begin healing?
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Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life Proverbs 13:12

Unit667

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 7


« Reply #3 on: April 13, 2018, 11:45:57 AM »

Thanks for the replies Smiling (click to insert in post)

Panda, I like working out a lot haha so Ive been trying to focus on doing that lately

Tattered, it may sound a little childish, but I saw that she posted a story on Snapchat and intentionally ignored ti and posted one of my own and in seconds she viewed mine and the blocking started. Ive been trying to talk to girls and go on dates to heal but Its just not the same in my mind other then that just obsessively working out Being cool (click to insert in post)

I’m fairly confident that she will eventually contact me just based on her personality and the fact that she still has me added on one of her private accounts(for now) I feel in some ways she can’t help herself to completly distance herself from me otherwise she would have just blocked me outight during the silent treatment but idk
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Panda39
********
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner’s ex
Relationship status: SO and I have been together 9 years and have just moved in together this summer.
Posts: 3462



« Reply #4 on: April 13, 2018, 01:56:00 PM »

Keep working out... .Keeps you looking good and those endorphins keep you feeling good.  Doing the right thing (click to insert in post)

This is your mother Panda talking Being cool (click to insert in post) Eat right and get some rest in there too!  Smiling (click to insert in post)

Just live your life and see what happens, I know it can be difficult and takes patience but I'm confident you can manage it.

Panda39
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"Have you ever looked fear in the face and just said, I just don't care" -Pink
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