Really glad, although also and even more so terribly sad, to see you say this. It gets to one of the deepest reasons any of us has gone through any of this, on either side of these relationships. Self harm and self doubt. Setting ourselves up for it by casting ourselves in roles we don't really have to play. Roles that come to life because we make it so. Sometimes as stepping stones to something better, sometimes not. How much the deception was intentional changes how gullible the victim was? Or is it anyone who's hurt?
My husband seems to look for reasons to be hurt and upset and I am the total opposite. I look for reasons to be happy. I can make lemon aide out of almost anything. That is to his advantage because that means that no matter what he says or does, I am going to look on the bright side. I honestly don't think my husband did anything that deliberately. I think he is that clueless and lacks any kind of self awareness.
