just a question

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

As many of you know I am abroad working and we ended the relationship-again- on last Friday. No contact ever since. Yesterday one of his "female friends" who he flirted with just in my face (hugging her and giving her all his attention while I drove them like a stupid taxi driver) the one who told he was always right and I had to "work on myself" as it was my insecurity to ruin the relationship texted me. Asking how I was. Out of the blue. I was very dry and she stopped. Then this morning another of his friends, who he told me has invited him alone at her house-and is very Bpd herself- contacted me askung for prayers for her. She disappeared long ago.

It may be him? I am painted very black at the moment. And I want to stay black even if I am suffering. Like crazy. All this situation is unreal. On last Wednedsday I had a dinner with his parents. My head is spinning. Help me to stay centered and to remember how brutal he is

[UnforgivenII]

As many of you know I am abroad working and we ended the relationship-again- on last Friday. No contact ever since. Yesterday one of his "female friends" who he flirted with just in my face (hugging her and giving her all his attention while I drove them like a stupid taxi driver) the one who told he was always right and I had to "work on myself" as it was my insecurity to ruin the relationship texted me. Asking how I was. Out of the blue. I was very dry and she stopped. Then this morning another of his friends, who he told me has invited him alone at her house-and is very Bpd herself- contacted me askung for prayers for her. She disappeared long ago.

It may be him? I am painted very black at the moment. And I want to stay black even if I am suffering. Like crazy. All this situation is unreal. On last Wednedsday I had a dinner with his parents. My head is spinning. Help me to stay centered and to remember how brutal he is

[UnforgivenII]

Please answer if you can. I am in pain. I know. We all are. We all are... .

[fromheeltoheal]

Hi Unforgiven-

It may be him?

There's no way of knowing, although communication from other women who know him, or him, is not something you need right now.  You mention you ended the relationship, and it is common to be spinning at this point in your detachment; it's best to take care of yourself very well right now, and block all of the ways he can contact you, so you can give yourself time and distance from him, so you can get your feet on the ground and heal.  Take care of you!

[JerryRG]

I agree with fromheeltoheal

The only way to heal is to go nc, unless you share children. My exgf and I are a toxic mess and we do not get along and best if we leave each other alone.

Taking care of ourselves is the best we can do, I neglected my own care by being with my BPDgf, my choice is to be well, healthy, happy, or my life won't be any different than when I was with her.

Giving my son and myself all I used to give her, my plan for healing and for once a good life.

Keep healing UnforgivenII!