communicate better with BPD spouse

[happysavta]

Yikes- I am new to this.  spouse seems to have symptoms of BPD.  Trying  to understand and learn what works in communicating so as not to frustrate and aggrevate him and have him feel more pain/anger causing rage and abusive behavior.  Listened to Dr. Amador's Leap Training video on the BDPFamily site. WOW- so much to take in.  It's a whole new world.  Open to hear what has worked for you.

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PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[ThanksForPlaying]

Hang in there!  I don't have any specific communication links, or many answers.  One thing that seems to help a little is to 'stop walking on eggshells' - in my case, that means I make my own decisions, keep my own schedule, and follow through with things that I've said I'm going to do.  I mean daily things, like go to work, watch a show I want to watch, eat at a certain restaurant.  I communicate it clearly ahead of time (sometimes days in advance) and when the inevitable rage blow-up happens, I stick to the schedule/plan and don't let the rage derail it.  There is still rage, but it seems to be less extreme, and I at least get to accomplish some things without feeling like I'm catering to BPD.