Will staying away help?

[Carguy]

Hey group!

After 3 months I went and seen my therapist yesterday. I had some things I asked him concerning my ex and he advised me from a clinical standpoint. I believe I will follow his advise but wanted some opinions on here.

The run down:

My ex and I have recycled several times over the last 4 years. Last November she pushed me away and told me to go live my life. I dated another girl for 2 weeks and things are the worst they've been between us now.

At the end of December I seen her at Walmart where she works and we chatted. She was kind of playful and a few times when I was getting ready to leave she kept pulling me back into the conversation. I text her after I left at 3 hours later she flipped back to cold and told me to stay away.

First part of January she text again concerning having her vehicles on my property and picking up her dirt bike. I told her they were fine and that I could drop her dirt bike off on the way to work. She was grateful for that. 3 days later (Sunday morning) she text me at asked if I could babysit her kids while she worked. I agreed. I stopped by her apartment once when I seen her working on her vehicle to see if she needed help and said hi to her at work once. She became cold again and angry with me about her boundaries.

A few weeks later I text her and told her I still cared about her. The next day I asked if I could send an open hearted text to her about things. No response. A week and a  half later I text her concerning her cat. No response. I stopped by her apartment to make sure she got the message. She did and became angry accusing me of being manipulative. I left. She text me later and told me she only wanted to know about her cats if they were sick or died and about her vehicles. I told her I was going no contact.

A few days later she text me apologizing and did a whole 180. I started talking to her again, took her flowers the next day (Valentine's Day) and she loved it and kept giving me hugs and told me how much it meant to her. I invited her to the movies a few days later and she told me yes but I was texting daily and she wasn't used to it. I backed off and two days later she does a 180 back and tells me we can't go to the movies and can only talk about her vehicles and the cats again. Nothing else. I went back to NC for 3 weeks.

A week and a half ago I told her she needed to remove her belongings from my property so we could move on. She did. She is very cold to me now.

I told my therapist that a big part of me wanted to send her one final text about things in hopes that it would take away some of her hurt, help her heal a bit, and it would help her begin to split me white. I told my therapist I did not want her to hate me forever. He advised me not to text her. He says it will have the opposite effect right now. He says she won't hate me forever because of how she has flipped back and forth the last little while. He said by not texting her she will eventually start thinking I'm not such a bad person.

What do you think group? From the things I have read it sounds right. I guess I'm just not sure because things seem so bad between us and she seems so cold to me at this point. She is also someone that has a hard time reaching out and as far as I know has not reached out to other exes. On the flip side of that, outside of her second marriage, I believe I'm the longest relationship she has had. Others I know of have only lasted a month or so and her first marriage I think last at 7 months.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.